


Seven Nation Army

by yumikuris



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, ah yes it is time, there's gonna be a lot of angst and a lot of people are going to die I'm s o r r y, time for the hunger games AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:45:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yumikuris/pseuds/yumikuris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a hard life, and an unfair one, but she had no choice- there was nowhere for her to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lie to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so before I get started, I just wanna say that this won't be following the exact plot of the novel- it's set in the same universe, and lots of things will be similar, but it was too difficult to write it exactly to the plot because the book focuses on a straight couple. I hope you enjoy it! Much love kiddos x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I finally wrote the yumikuri Hunger Games AU I've been promising to write since forever. I hope you like it!!!! x

The rain poured down, soaking Ymir to the bone. Thunder clashed, and the wind howled in her ears. The alleyway was dark- Reaping Day was mere hours away, and she knew it would be even colder- yet still, she couldn't bring herself to doze off. The Peacekeepers would flood the city when the sun came up, and Ymir had no home to go to, no friends to speak to- no one. For the past six months, she had lived in the streets, too proud to beg for food, instead stealing out of trash bins and stealing what she could from District 12's relatively wealthier citizens.

It was a hard life, and an unfair one, but she had no choice- there was nowhere for her to go. The cold, icy rain struck her cheekbones, stinging like wounds. Sighing, she stood, attempting to stretch out her long arms in her soaked clothing. It was hopeless to wish for sleep, she realized. Her nerves, and the unrelenting cold, were too much. The rain soaked pavement echoed under her boots, sloshing throughout the narrow alleyway.

Where could she go? No one would be awake this early in the morning, before the sun had stained the sky an inky blue. Well, maybe one person.

Ymir tossed her head back and forth, attempting to dispel the freezing droplets that soaked her scalp. There had to be somewhere she could go, something she could do to shake off her nerves.

 _Who cares if I get picked?_   She thought to herself, wincing. _No family, no life- it would almost be a relief to get killed off quickly. I'd rather be stabbed in front of the whole world than freeze to death on an empty stomach in an alleyway where no one knows my name._

Shaking her head, she walked out of the alleyway, heading for the woods past 12's fence. _I can't kill anything_ , she mused. _But maybe just being there will make me feel better_.

Sneaking past rows of houses, she turned back, looking at her home district. The sun hadn't yet kissed the horizon, the sky still as black as death itself, but no lights were on in 12. Ironically, the coal mining district couldn't afford power for most of the day, and to save money, the lights shut off after the curfew.

Ymir paused, listening for the hum of the electric fence. Of course, it was silent, a placid lake where a roaring river should have existed. The tall, freckled girl grinned to herself. _They are cheap, aren't they?_   She snickered to herself, sliding under the fence. _It's all to my benefit._

The woods had always been like a home to her- one place where she was fine being alone, where she didn't feel like she was different. The forest felt like the family she had never really had. Her mother died when she was young- Ymir couldn't remember a single thing about her, not her name, or her face, or her scent. Her father had never spoken about her, and ever since she had died, he had been distant, cold. Anytime Ymir had asked for something- food, an extra blanket, a hug- his responses were always the same. You know we don't have the money for that, Ymir. Don't be so selfish. You're a big girl now. She had been, in a a way, almost relieved when he had died- a fact she would never reveal to anyone, no matter what.

The trees welcomed her, loved her unconditionally. That was more than she could say for her parents. Even in the pitch black, she was steady and surefooted here. The forest didn't care if she was clumsy everywhere else, or that she was odd looking, or that she couldn't even live without stealing. This was home.

The sky was beginning to lighten now, the horizon touched with an inky indigo. Dawn was soon- an hour or so, and she would have to return to her alley, dejected and tired. Running her fingers over the trees, Ymir emerged in a clearing- one of her favorite places in the forest. From here, up on the hill, you could see for miles. The sky was much lighter now, and the rain had finally stopped, the sky opening up into a chalky grey-blue. The mountains stretched out as far as she could see, like black waves- well. What she imagined waves would look like. She had never seen the ocean, only the tiny streams that snaked through the forest. Sighing, she sat in the lush grass, watching the sunrise. The clouds changed colors above her head, swirling from soft blues to lavenders and powder pink. The horizon was a fuchsia-orange color, the very tip of the sun rising over the mountains. A flock of birds flew across the sky, and Ymir, for the billionth time in her life, wished that she could capture the way the whole world looked right now- so rosy, so bright- so young. 

Standing, she sighed again, massaging her temples. It was Reaping Day.

She stalked lightly through the forest, now gently illuminated by the light that penetrated the canopy. Squirrels scattered, dropping acorn shells, as she passed them. At last, she found her stream. Here, she hid the one formal outfit she owned, which she wore only today. Sighing, she stripped off her muddy clothing and stepped into the stream. She tried to scrub her dark, freckled skin as quickly as possible, shivering as she washed her hair. Skirts never suited Ymir, nor did white blouses or hair ribbons, but she had no choice in the matter. She dressed as quickly as possible, her teeth chattering as she tucked her short sleeved white blouse into her navy skirt. She quickly slipped her favorite barrette into her pocket, letting her hair fall around her face. She tied her hair loosely with the gray ribbon, making a messy bow. She had no formal shoes, so she scrubbed her boots in the stream, slightly horrified at the amount of mud and what looked almost like blood that washed off. Pulling them on quickly, she hid her soaked, muddy clothing under a rock. 

"I'll come back for you," She whispered reverently, longing for her favorite wool leggings. The sun had now fully risen, and the Reaping was only hours away. Taking a deep breath, Ymir walked back slowly, making a conscious effort not to dirty her outfit. _The last thing I need to do today is make a scene_ , she mused as she ducked under the fence.

As she suspected, District 12 was awake when she returned, sneaking through the underbrush. The streets were swarmed with Peacekeepers, wearing their shiny white outfits and high black boots. Ymir crept out into an alley, and then proceeded to leave, as though she had been there the entire time. The act was, in a way, pointless- no one was paying attention to anyone but themselves and their children. Mothers gave their children forced smiles, their fathers pale and expressionless.

"Mama, are they gonna take Bert away?" A girl around nine asked her mother.

"No, sweetie," The woman responded, forcing a comforting expression as she patted her daughter's shoulder. "No one's gonna get taken away, not while Daddy's here. He's too strong, no one will hurt us if we stand by him," The little girl smiled, nodding. The woman's face was pale, and she gripped her daughter's hand. "No one's gonna get taken away," She murmured again, almost as if to herself.

Ymir passed them, keeping a neutral expression. It was time to move.

The route to the amphitheater was an expressionless, gray current- static erupted from the Peacekeeper's visors, and the lines for entry were already growing. 

"Hand," A woman spoke as Ymir approached the head of the line, her voice a deep monotone. She held her hand out obediently, watching as the woman jabbed her finger. A small, rosy droplet of blood appeared on her hand as her information was entered into the system. Ymir grabbed a bandage from her hand before heading to the right. A group of girls her age stood around her, but she didn't recognize a single face- and she was sure, by the way they all huddled together, away from her, that they didn't recognize her, either.

A petite woman with light red hair and amber eyes walked onto the stage, and the crowd fell into hushed silence. She wore a very light silvery lavender dress, which swirled to the (probably dirty) wooden planks of the stage. Her hair was tightly curled and pinned to the top of her head, a few strands stylistically placed to frame her face. Her ears were coated in what looked like diamond earrings- at least 30 per ear. Her arms held what must have been an infinite number of silver bangles, which clinked softly into the microphone. In front of her were two glass bowls, filled with folded strips of paper.

"Welcome!" She squealed, lifting her hand to her heart. "Welcome, all. Our brave tributes, and their family members. Citizens of District 12, it is that very special time of the year," She smiled, brushing a curled tendril out of her eyes. She proceeded to make the exact same speech she made every single year- how lucky all the citizens of Panem were to be alive, how the Games were an honor to all involved. She concluded by wiping her eyes on her white satin gloves, smiling and sighing.

"We are truly so blessed to be here, don't you agree?" If she had expected cheering, she was in for a letdown- the entire district was silent, unmoving.

"Now," She spoke cheerily, resting her manicured fingertips on the rims of the bowls. "It is time to pick our lucky boy and girl. As always, ladies first,"

Her fake nails dropped into the first bowl, fishing for a slip of paper. They moved, twisting, almost picking- but no, she dropped that one, and now, now- she had picked a slip.

"Ymir..." She trailed off. "How do you pronounce that?" She asked the Mayor, pointing at her last name. "Ah, well, doesn't matter- Ymir?"

Ymir's blood was ice and fire, her face neutral. Everyone was looking around, desperately trying to locate this mysterious, unheard of "Ymir" when she stepped forward.

"Ah, there she is," The lavender woman at the podium spoke. "Come on up, deary- really, what an honor- come on up, yes, that's it-"

Ymir walked, escorted by the Peacekeepers to the stage, blood pounding in her ears. What was that she had said earlier? About wanting to die in the Games rather than freeze to death? _I take it back_ , Ymir thought to herself, panicking. _I take it back, I don't want to die here, I don't want to-_

The next thing she knew, she was climbing the steps, motioned by the woman onstage, who was grinning. Up close, she could see how much makeup she was really wearing- her face was coated in white powder, and Ymir could see the caked creases where she had applied her shimmering lavender eyeshadow.

"What an honor! Our female tribute, stand right here, deary, yes, that's right- and now, for our male tribute!" The woman grinned, leaning in to fish a slip of paper out of he adjacent bowl. Ymir stood, frozen in her boots. _I never said goodbye to the forest_ , she realized, her heart racing. _I didn't know it would be the last time- I never even said-_

"Bertolt Hoover?" The woman asked, smiling sweetly. "Do we have a Bertolt here? Come on up, deary-" A boy from the very back stepped forward, and a little girl began crying.

"Momma, you said they wouldn't!" She screamed, tears running down her face. "Bert, don't go with them! Don't-" Bertolt continued walking, his face grim. He never once turned back.

"What an honor!" The woman exclaimed. "Why don't you come over here and stand with Ymir, yes? Ladies and gentlemen, the 74th annual Hunger Games tributes! Well, go on, shake hands, you two!" Bertolt stuck his hand out, grabbing Ymir's. She noted that his hands were cold and clammy, like he had just woken up from a nightmare. 

As they were escorted off of the stage, Ymir turned, looking back at the dispersing crowd. The little girl was still crying when the door slammed shut.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow okay yes this chapter was probably really boring because it was just Ymir most of the time, but I promise, Historia will be in the next chapter or so and it will be great I swear  
> Love you kiddos xx <3


	2. Like You Used To

Ymir sat in the plush velvet seat, picking at her fingers. The train had left moments ago, but it was nothing like she had ever imagined a train ride to be. The inside was lush, more high class and expensive than anything she had ever laid her eyes on. The dining car, where she and Bertolt were sitting, was all she had seen, but already, she was blown away.

The woman in lavender- P something, Ymir hadn't really been paying attention when she introduced herself, was rattling on facts about how fast the train went (250 miles per hour, not that that meant anything to either tribute) when the door slid open.

"You can leave now, Petra," A man who looked to be in his mid-thirties and was extraordinarily short walked in. He brushed back his short, straight black hair back before shooting her a look.

"Y-Yes, of course. Ymir, Bertolt- this is Levi, he'll be your mentor," Petra stood up quickly, biting her lip, and exited the car, leaving a cloud of floral perfume behind.

Levi seemed in no hurry to introduce himself, instead turning his back and rummaging around in the shelves on the walls.

"No ice," He muttered, picking up a bottle and pouring what Ymir guessed was the Capitol's version of whiskey out of a thin, carved glass bottle.

"So," Bertolt spoke up, looking anxious. "You're our mentor,"

Levi sighed, rolling his eyes as he took a swig from his glass.

"That's right,"

"So, you're supposed to help us, right?" He asked, slightly more confident now. "Give us tips? Tell us how to survive?" Ymir noticed that he was sweating slightly, perspiration beading on his upper lip. 

"I'll give you the best advice I have," Levi sat, flicking his hair out of his sharp gray eyes. "You are both going to die. There is absolutely no chance that either of you will survive this lovely encounter. I'm very sorry this happened to you. I'd love to be an optimist, but I'll be real with you- enjoy the luxuries of this train, the Capitol, the spotlight- enjoy it. Because once you get into that arena, neither of you stand a chance,"

Bertolt paled, more sweat beading on his brow.

"And what the hell does that make you?" Ymir spoke, her voice so low she almost didn't hear it herself. "Are you just going to sit back and drink and not tell us anything?" She stood, slamming her hands on the marble counter top. "What good does this do either of us? You're not going to tell us how to make, oh, I don't know, a fire?"

"A fire's your first mistake." Levi rolled his eyes, straightening his cravat. "The other tributes will see the smoke, and boom, quite literally- the canon will be going off in seconds,"

"Thank you," Bertolt muttered quickly, still pale and shaking.

"Don't thank him, you idiot!" Ymir spat, curling her hands into fists. "You're just going to sit there, and tell us to prepare for our deaths? Then you're useless- how can you even call yourself a mentor?" 

Levi lifted his glass to his lips again, but before he could drink, Ymir had knocked the glass out of his hands.

"Ymir, don't-" Bertolt begged, biting his lip.

"You made me spill my drink," Levi commented nonchalantly, studying his fingernails. Ymir pulled her arm back and slapped him with everything she had, delivering a stinging pain to her palm. Before she dared to speak, she whirled around, exiting the car, wiping her eyes before inevitable tears fell. Admittedly, she had no clue where she was going, but she figured that there was only one way she could go.

Passing control rooms, unmarked doors, and balconies, she finally reached two opposite cabins, marked with envelopes reading "Ymir" and "Bertolt" in shining gold script.

Rolling her eyes, Ymir plucked the envelope from the door and ripped it open.

_~~Insert tribute name here~~ Ymir, _

_What an honor to have you here with us! You bring honor upon I ~~nsert District name here~~ 12 and the Capitol city by representing us. If you need anything, let  ~~insert mentor's name here~~ Levi know!_

_Sincerely, The Capitol._

"Gross," Ymir muttered, dropping the envelope onto the plush navy carpet. She pushed the door open, sighing again. The room was simple, but still more elegant than anywhere she'd lived before. The room had a window, too, so she could see the forest zipping by. Against the wall was a bed bigger than any alley Ymir had ever slept in.

 _I'll be sleeping in a real bed tonight,_ she mused, biting her lip. _A real, soft bed, on a full stomach. I can't say this isn't exactly what I wanted only yesterday._

Sitting on the bed, Ymir stretched her arms out, groaning. Her blouse was tight, and her skirt was itchy, irritating the somewhat gentle skin on her thighs. She stood again, wondering if there were clothes on the train. With a pang, she remembered her wool leggings and heavy coat that were lying, dejected, under a rock back in District 12. She rubbed her inner thigh, remembering the feeling of the worn wool against her legs.

 _You never love something until you lose it_ , she thought to herself miserably.

A knock came at the door, startling her.

"I'm not in the mood to apologize. I'll talk to Levi later,"

"Oh, it's, ah- it's me. Bert? Petra said that dinner was going to be in about an hour. She said to get changed,"

"Were those her exact words?"

"Well, ah, no-"

"What were her exact words?"

"She said to tell the 'grumpy girl' to wash her hair so she wouldn't look like a street rat anymore," Ymir could practically feel his blush through the door, and she couldn't help but to snort.

"I'll be there," Bert sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Ymir," His footsteps thudded away from her room, and she could hear the faint click as he opened his door. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair. Petra was right- she hadn't used soap on her hair in four years. She slipped her boots off, padding into the bathroom door. The shower was, in a word, exquisite. A single remote controlled everything- shampoo, soap, scented lotion, temperature, massaging oil, _everything_. Ymir took her shirt off, stepping out of her skirt. The buttons did all the work, and she sighed as she leaned into the warm spray.

_Is this what I've been missing?_

Ymir jerked out of her reverie, shutting the shower off with the click of a button.

_Did I really just think that? In my circumstances, did I just wish that life could be like this all the time?_

Ymir shook her head walking over to the mirror. She was thin- no, not thin. Gaunt. Her cheekbones stood out, and her freckles looked like bruises, her eyes like hazel scabs. Clenching her hands into fists, she clicked the remote again, and walked back into the shower. Puffs of hot and cool air hit her, drying her hair and her body. _This is no life_ , she told herself. _This isn't living._

Padding back into the plush, luxurious bedroom, she noticed a door she hadn't before. _A closet?_ She thought to herself, wrapping her towel around her thin chest. Turning the door handle, she pushed inside, every cell in her being groaning. 

The closet was bigger than her alley- _No, not my alley anymore_ , she scolded herself. _It's just a very large closet. Stop comparing things to 12. It isn't your home anymore._

The closet- no, more like a hallway, really- was filled to the brim with dresses, covered in glitter, feathers, or lace- in some cases, all three. The further back Ymir stepped, the worse it got- at the very back was a huge vanity, stocked full with cosmetics she had never seen before and probably wouldn't know how to use if her survival depended on it.

_But your survival does depend on this, doesn't it?_

Ymir shivered, walking out of the closet. There was nothing here for her. There was only one place she could go.

"Bert?" She called, knocking on the door opposite of hers. She groaned, adjusting her towel. _C'mon, answer the door, moron._

"That you, Ymir?" He asked, opening the door. He was dressed impeccably, most likely in clothes far nicer than he'd ever imagined wearing. He was tall, granted, but the slate gray suit he wore was the perfect length. Although, Ymir noted, he didn't know how to tie a tie. "Ah, what are you doing in your-?" He averted his eyes, blushing.

"In my towel? That's what I'm here to talk to you about,"

"What?" He practically screeched, covering his face. "Ymir, I don't want to-" 

"Want to what?" She stepped back, offended. "I was just gonna ask if I could borrow something from your closet. Mine's hopeless,"

"Oh, thank God," He muttered, his blush draining. "Yeah, come in."

"What did you think I wanted?" Ymir asked, narrowing her hazel eyes.

"Nothing, nothing. Come in, before someone sees us," She stepped inside, heading over to his closet.

"Now this is what I'm talking about," Ymir sighed dreamily, running her fingers over expensive silk suits and ties.

"Try one in blue," Bert muttered, running his hand through his hair.

"Huh?"

"Like a navy blue. In silk," Bert looked at her, cocking his head. "It's your color. And don't wear a tie. A bow tie would suit you better,"

"Hey, you're pretty good at this, huh?"

"I guess," He murmured. "I'm gonna be in the dining car. You should change soon, you'll be late,"

"Yeah, yeah," Ymir flicked her hair out of her eyes. "Thanks for letting me use your clothes,"

"They aren't mine. Nothing here is mine," Ymir looked up, and saw that his eyes were miserable, looking anywhere but at her. _I guess I forgot that this is hard on him too._   "Don't be late," And with that, he was gone, the door shutting softly behind him.

 _Navy blue silk, huh?_   She mused, biting her lip. _I wonder where I could find that._

* * *

 

"You're late," Levi spoke without looking up, rattling the ice in his glass.

"Oh, Ymir, you look-" Petra looked conflicted, as if she wanted to compliment her and scold her at the same time.

"You look great," Bert offered her a small smile, twirling a spoon between his long fingers. 

"Why couldn't you have just worn something from your closet?" Petra asked, huffing.

"Eh," Ymir shrugged, pulling out a chair as far from Levi as possible. "None of it was my style,"

"Well, whatever," Petra sighed, frustrated. "I'm ordering the roast duck for the table." 

"That sounds good," Bert piped up, smiling gently. 

"Thank you, Bert," Petra replied. "Why can't we all just be like Bert here?" She asked, sniffing. "It wouldn't kill you all to be kind once in a while." 

Levi rolled his eyes, and for once, Ymir agreed with him. 

Dinner went by quickly, Petra giving advice that was simultaneously shallow, yet more helpful than anything Levi had mentioned. Ymir picked at her food, staring out of the window at the setting sun outside. _Where are we?_ She wondered idly, trying to memorize the way the colors looked, splashed across the sky.

"All right now, you two may be excused," Petra spoke, rubbing at a lavender stained eyelid. "Levi and I have some things to discuss- I'd suggest a good night's sleep. You'll need it for tomorrow,"

Ymir's stomach dropped, her veins filling with ice.

"What happens tomorrow?" She asked, slowly standing up.

"We arrive in the Capitol, of course!" Petra chirped, clapping her hands together. "And on the first night there, the Tribute Parade takes place-"

"Tribute Parade?" Ymir questioned, her eyes narrowing.

"Goodness, you ask so many questions, is this not common knowledge? On your first day in the Capitol, you meet with your stylist, and that night is the tribute parade. After that, you go to the training center. It is vital that you make a good impression, of course!"

"Of course," Ymir echoed, her voice empty. "Goodnight, Petra,"

"Mm, goodnight, you two," She squeaked, barely noticing as the two tributes left the car.

Bert walked by her side in silence for most of the way, stopping once they reached their compartments.

"You okay?" He asked, his back turned.

"Yeah," She lied, closing her eyes. "You?"

"Yeah," He lied right back, resting his hand on the doorknob. "Goodnight, Ymir,"

"Goodnight," She whispered, taking a deep breath.

Inside, her compartment was colder than she'd remembered it being, but she stripped off her suit and bow tie regardless, not feeling the chill on her skin. Not even bothering to change into pajamas, she crept into her bed, pulling the heavy satin blankets around her. 

_This isn't living_ , she repeated to herself. _This isn't real._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said Historia was gonna be in this chapter but I underestimated the length of the train scene I'm sorry eek   
> Anyways she will for sure be in the next chapter I swear~   
> Thank you guys for reading and leaving nice comments, kudos, etc. Much love x


	3. Tell Me Everything is How it Should Be

The train was passing a lake when Ymir woke, the sun glinting off the deep blue waters. She gasped, tossing the heavy comforter aside as she ran to the window. The early dawn sky cast a peachy glow on everything in sight, turning the whole world pink and orange. Ymir sighed, pressing her forehead to the window. She had never seen this much water before- it was so beautiful, so pure.

And just like that, the lake was gone from view again, and thick, mossy trees zipped by the windows, a green blur outside her compartment. Sighing, she sat back onto the bed, rubbing her tired eyes. Today, the train would arrive in the Capitol, and she would be paraded around like a lanky, ugly doll with greasy hair. She collapsed back into bed, twirling a strand of straight brown hair idly between her fingers.

 _I'm warm,_ she realized, closing her eyes. _And I'm not hungry. Okay, I'm a little hungry. But I'm not starving._

Standing, Ymir stretched her long arms, feeling her stomach give a slight rumble.

_Okay, priorities. Get some food. But first- put some clothes on._

The closet was just as daunting as it had been the previous night, the ruffles and various extraordinarily uncomfortable looking fabrics even more garish in the light of day. Ymir sighed, attempting to claw her way to the back again. _There have to be some pajamas I can wear, right? Girls in the Capitol wear pajamas, don't they? Of course they do. Everyone wears pajamas._ Eventually, she found a drawer that looked promising, but it was filled only with skimpy lingerie, more sequins than fabric. A million different colors of lace, silk, and tiny satin flowers stuck out at odd angles, gaudy and expensive.

Ymir sighed, fighting her way back out of the mountains of tulle and satin. Wrapping a towel around her chest, she crept out of her room

"Bert?" She whispered, knocking. "Bert, are you in there? It's me, Ymir," A groan came from within, followed by a ruffling noise and footsteps.

"Christ, Ymir, it's like, 2AM,"

"It's maybe 6," She responded, rolling her eyes. "Can I borrow some more clothes?"

"Jesus, just take all of them. Are you wearing that stupid towel again?"

"...No," Bert opened the door, his eyes tired and red. 

"Liar. Come in, take as much as you need,"

"Thanks," She shot him a quick grin, darting into his closet. "You wouldn't believe how ridiculous my closet is," She spoke, running her fingers along the sleeves of fine pressed dress shirts.

"Oh yeah?" He called back sleepily, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Yeah! I swear, I have nothing against feminine clothing, but what are they even wearing in the Capitol? I would give you all the money in 12 if you could find one thing in there that doesn't have feathers or glitter,"

Bert snorted, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you find what you need?"

"Yep!" Ymir emerged, victoriously holding silky white button down pajamas.

"Are you going to wear pajamas to breakfast?" He asked wearily, eying her suspiciously.

"I can't just wear a suit again," She shrugged, holding the silk to her chest. "Anyways, thanks for the clothes. You gonna be at breakfast soon?" 

"Yeah, in like an hour," He groaned, burying his face in the pillows. Ymir snorted rolling her eyes.

"See you then," She called, shutting the door behind her. 

She had been right; the pajamas were incredibly silky, like warm air on her skin. She hadn't bothered with shoes or socks, revealing her long, sharp toenails. 

_Oh well_ , she mused, walking to the dining car. _I'm sure my stylist will just cut off my feet if they're too much to handle. Why bother doing it myself?_

Opening the door to the dining car, Petra squealed with delight.

"Ymir! You're on time! Early, even! I can't believe it-"

"On time for what?" Ymir asked, grabbing a muffin from the table and sliding into a chair.

"Oh, nothing, really- I just always pictured you as more of a late riser,"

"I get that a lot," Ymir shrugged, biting into her muffin. Petra was in white today, her ballgown powder white and pure. Her face was all white as well, from her eyelashes to her lips. Her hair was the only pop of color on her, everything from her heels to the multitude of piercings in her ears pristine white.

The door slid open again, and Bert walked in- still exhausted, wearing pajamas like Ymir's in black.

"Honestly, you two," Petra rolled her eyes. "Pajamas at breakfast? So unprofessional,"

"And what exactly is their profession at the moment, Petra?" Levi asked, walking into the dining car. "Killing? Survival? Trying to look good in front of the world as they prepare to die?"

Petra was rendered speechless, her lipsticked mouth opening and closing rapidly. She blinked a few times, snow white eyelashes batting, before looking away, at a loss for words.

"And what, are you actually going to help us this time?" Ymir snorted, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes," Levi sighed. "The best advice I can give you is this; smile for the camera,"

"What the hell kind of-"

Levi held his hand up, closing his eyes.

"Listen," Ymir sat back, glaring with everything she had. "Show the world that you're grateful. Show them how proud you are to be here, to be representing your district-"

"But I'm not-"

"Shh," Ymir turned to look at Bert, her eyes wide. "I want to hear this," He elaborated, crossing his arms. "Go on."

"Be smart. Your biggest fight might not even be in the arena, but in an interview. You have to choose the kind of image you want to give off. For you, Bert, it's pretty easy- we'll play up the gentle giant vibe, the Capitol will eat it up. For you, on the other hand-" Levi shook his head. "The Capitol might not like you so much,"

"I don't care what the Capitol thinks of me," Ymir glared, clenching her hands into fists.

"But you _should_ ," Levi leaned forward, deadly serious. "You want sponsors, don't you? You want as much help as you can get, right?"

"Yes," Ymir muttered, looking away.

"Then you'd better learn to play nice," The room fell into silence, the only noises the slight rattling of the tracks beneath them.

"Ymir, look," Bert gasped, grabbing her arm. The Capitol had come into view through the huge train windows behind her. Spinning around, Ymir watched as Bert pressed his hands to the glass, eyes wide. The whole city was surrounded by a dam, the bluest, richest water she had ever seen. The buildings were so tall, they kissed the clouds- the whole city gleamed, like gold and silver.

"Well," Petra cried out in her cheery voice. "We'll be there any minute- you two had better get changed,"

Ymir, heart pounding, turned wordlessly, exiting the car without saying goodbye. She and Bert walked in silence, their hearts pounding.

"You need anything to wear?" Bert asked as they reached their respective compartments.

"Don't worry about me," Ymir smiled sadly, turning away. "You don't have to anymore."

* * *

 

Ymir winced, attempting to keep her face neutral as hot wax was ripped from her leg. A member of her prep team, a man with blue hair and glasses, tittered to himself.

"When was the last time you shaved?"

"I've never shaved," She grit her teeth together as another strip, this one higher up on her thigh, was torn off.

"You can make noise, you know," A smaller woman with curly blonde hair piped up, rubbing her eye with the back of her hand.

"How long has it been?" Ymir winced again, curling her hands into fists.

"Hmmm... Maybe six hours? Seven?" The man with the blue hair adjusted his glasses. "And we haven't even gotten you to Mike yet," 

"Who?"

"Your stylist- he's new this year, I'm curious to see how good he is. Anyways, her legs are fine- lets work on those brows,"

"My brows?" Ymir questioned nervously, her heart fluttering. "What's wrong with them?"

"Too thick," The blonde tittered, glitter falling from her large false eyelashes.

"When do I get to see Mike?" Ymir asked as a pair of what appeared to be industrial tweezers were lowered to her forehead.

"Twenty minutes, give or take. We'll have to wash you down, and then you'll be good to go,"

She winced, the tweezers delivering a hot, stinging pain to her skin with every pluck. The wash down was worse- something she thought would be warm and pleasant ended up being the opposite. First, her skin was rubbed down with an exfoliate, scraping off what felt like half of her body. The water was freezing cold, making her teeth chatter as she was wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe.

"Mike will be in momentarily," The man spoke, smiling gently. He and his companion walked out, leaving behind glitter and perfume that smelled like burnt sugar.

Ymir sat, picking at her cuticles. She shivered, wishing the robe were a little thicker, her skin stinging every time she shifted. Self consciously, she lifted a hand to her eyebrows, feeling along her forehead. _My eyebrows were my only redeeming quality_ , she thought bitterly.

A door slid open almost silently, and in came a tall, blonde man.

"I'm Mike," He smiled, reaching out his hand. Ymir took it, hesitant, and leaned back, shivering,

"You can tell a lot about a person by their handshake, you know," Mike turned, his eyes examining a clipboard. "Ymir, is it? You seem trustworthy,"

"You're my stylist, right?" She asked, narrowing her eyes. "So it's your job to make me look pretty in front of the whole world?" 

"Not pretty- impressive. Not all things that leave an impression are pretty," He spoke, bringing a silver pen to his lips. Ymir noticed that, unlike his helpers, or most of the people in the Capitol, he was dressed simply, no piercings or makeup. Besides his plain black clothing, he wore two thin silver rings on his thumbs.

"So, District 12. I'm sorry you got stuck with us. Coal, right? Are you going to cover us in black dust like usual?"

"On the contrary- I asked for 12. And no, I've got something a little different in mind this year," Mike smiled, tapping the pen to the clipboard. "I've got some ideas for you, Ymir,"

* * *

 

Ymir stood in the long, synthetically bright hallway, her heart racing.

"Now, you won't feel a thing, I promise it's fake. Press this button when you're ready," Mike grinned, pressing two controllers into the tribute's sweaty palms. 

"Thank you," Bert whispered, his brow beading with perspiration.

"Good luck you two!" Petra called, grinning and giving them two thumbs up. Levi, in typical behavior, rolled his eyes.

Mike guided them to their chariot at the very back of the queue, where two strong, black horses stood.

Bert helped her up before climbing in himself, shaking slightly.

"You're not gonna pass out, are you?" Ymir asked, frowning.

He shook his head, offering a forced smile.

"You'll do great, trust me," Ymir smiled gently. "Just wave and smile at everyone you see. Act 'humbled'- isn't that what Levi said?"

"Is this the end of the world?" Bert snickered, "You doing what Levi tells you to?"

She glared, rolling her eyes.

"He had a point, okay?"

The lights in the hall went dark, and trumpets blared. Even in the pitch darkness, Ymir could feel Bert paling. The doors creaked open, and the first chariot was off. Inside the hall, two television screens lit up, showing a thousand different angles of District 1's tributes.

A short, pale girl with flowing blonde hair stood proudly, covered in silver glitter. Her dress was long and white, billowing as the chariot made its rounds. Next to her was a tall boy, who appeared to be her age, but nearly twice her size. He kept his face neutral, his nose turned up. He, too, was covered in silver glitter. As their white horses turned back and headed for the hall, a single red rose was thrown to the girl, who caught it in one hand and offered a sweet smile in the general direction of the thrower.

As District 2's tributes made their grand appearance, 1's chariot came back, driving past the line of tributes, many of which turned the other way, not offering a single smile. As they past Ymir's chariot, the girl with the blonde hair turned, smiling. She smelled like vanilla and honey- something Ymir somehow seemed to remember from her childhood. She had a strange look in her eyes, as if she understood everything about Ymir with just one glance. Before she could react, the girl was gone. 

Ymir glanced back to the screens just in time to catch the tributes from District 2 returning- a girl and a boy with brown eyes, dressed in what looked like bronze armor. Their eyes were fiery, every bit of them glimmering.

Ymir's nerves began to get the best of her, zoning out as time ticked on. A girl with pale skin and dark hair and a boy with brown hair and grey eyes were dressed in paper, rippling as they moved. Ahead of them, a boy with a blonde bowl cut and a circlet of silvery leaves and a girl dressed the same way pulled out, making their rounds.

"Us next," Bert murmured, sweating more than ever.

"Yeah," Ymir hated how her voice shook. _It's nothing. This isn't even the games- are you this scared of how the world will see you?_

The horses started forward with a jerk as District 11's tributes pulled into the hall, making Ymir and Bert gasp. In mere moments, the crowd was in view.

"Now?" Bert whispered over the screaming crowd.

"Now," She nodded. Simultaneously, their black unitards burst into flames, and a collective gasp went through the crowd. Ymir turned, looking at herself on one of the screens, and nearly gasped alongside the Capitol. She was fierce, her entire body engulfed in flames, her eyes dark and cold, burning with black flames. The crowd screamed, jumping and throwing flowers.

"Catch one, Ymir," Bert hissed in her ear.

"Huh?"

"A flower- catch one,"

Ymir turned, and, as a little girl in a metallic orange dress threw a bright red poppy, and reached out her hand. The Capitol erupted again as the flower landed in her gloved hand, spectators roaring. Ymir held the flower over her head, lifting her face into the air as they pulled into the hall, the doors closing.

"-Amazing!" Petra squealed, nearly hopping up and down in pleasure. "I couldn't believe my eyes when-"

"Hey, Petra," Ymir hopped down from the chariot, tilting her head around.

"Who was that girl from District 1?"

"Oh, the girl with the glitter? Levi, what was her-"

"Historia Reiss," Levi responded, leaning against the wall. "Why, Ymir, you thinking of making an alliance?"

"O-Of course not," Ymir glared. "I was just curious,"

"Well, now that that's settled- who's hungry?" Petra clapped, grinning. The elevator ride was silent, but she noticed, to her relief, that Bert seemed much more calm now. The top floor of the training center- District 12's floor- was even more lush than the train. Instead of just bedrooms and bathrooms, they had practically an entire apartment to themselves. Ymir collapsed into her bed, marveling at the soft, silky comforter. She sighed, wiping the black and gold eyeliner off of her tired lids. 

As she sat up, she noticed something she hadn't before- a single red rose on her bedside table, smelling of vanilla and honey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow this was a lot longer than I'd intended it to be- I'm really sorry if these last few chapters have been boring, it's gonna get interesting really soon, I promise. And there will be some actual yumikuri interaction. Much love, kiddos x


	4. Did You Have To?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe this, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes. All the things I could be sad about, and I'm sad about pants.

Ymir groaned, trying to ignore the dull burn in her arms.

"How long do I have to keep lifting this?" She winced, curling the barbell to her chest.

"Until you build up some muscles in those scrawny arms," Bert smirked, easily lifting twice the weight she was, hardly sweaty for once.

"Whatever. At least they have real pants here," Despite the stinging in her arms, she was more comfortable in the training room than she had been on the luxurious train. The outfits provided were less flashy, more practical. The soft, breathable material reminded Ymir of her favorite leggings, and she remembered the stream with a pang. _I cannot believe this,_ she thought to herself, rolling her eyes. _All the things I could be sad about, and I'm sad about pants._

"Looks like you've got a shadow," Bert muttered, smiling to himself. Ymir's head jerked up, scanning the room- just in time to see the blonde boy from District 11 duck behind a pillar.

"He's been following you all day," Bert chuckled, wiping his forehead.

"I don't want to make an alliance with him," Ymir snapped, focusing on the weight in her hand. "He looks weak. I don't have time for him,"

Bert shrugged, his expression neutral.

"You might change your mind,"

She sighed, putting the barbell down. The training room was fairly large, but there was a decently heavy crowd around the climbing net as one of the Careers grappled his way to the top- what was his name? Levi had listed out all of the tributes last night at dinner, along with their weak spots and strengths, but Ymir had been distracted, thinking of the rose on her bedside table.

"Hey, Ymir," A small, sweet voice came from behind her, startling her out of her reverie. Both she and Bert turned around, narrowing their eyes. The girl from District 1- Historia, Levi had called her, was leaning against the table, eyes wide.

"Could you come over here? I need your help with something,"

"Sure," Ymir replied, before she could even process the question. Bert raised his eyebrow, but he said nothing, averting his eyes as she followed the shorter blonde girl.

"What do you need my help with?" Ymir scratched her scalp, biting her lip.

"Quite the contrary, actually," Now that they were alone, she had dropped the smile, and Ymir noticed that she looked exhausted, as if she hadn't slept in weeks. "You know that I'm from District 1, right, Ymir?"

Ymir nodded, frowning as Historia's thin fingers danced over the screen, entering in codes for various plants and fungi.

"So you know that I volunteered, right? I chose this," Her face was blank, her fingers moving almost too fast for Ymir to keep up with. "I chose this, but it wasn't my choice," 

"What do you mean?" Ymir asked, leaning against a pillar. "Your choice, but you didn't choose it? You aren't making sense," 

"I volunteered for my sister," Historia answered, her voice a monotone. "But no one knows but my family," She sighed, her fingertips brushing air light patterns into the screen. "She's only twelve- when I volunteered, most people assumed it was because I wanted to be here. I didn't, of course," She set both hands down on the screen, and a percentage popped up- **_Accuracy: 100%._**

"They all think I'm really brave- my family, that is," Historia ran her hands through her hair, her voice shaking. "I'm scared as hell, Ymir. I need help. And I think you do, too," 

"I don't need anyone's help," Ymir narrowed her eyes, turning away. "And I'm not interested in alliances,"

"I thought you'd say that," She laughed, her voice sad and uneven. "Just- if you change your mind, will you meet me up on the rooftop? I know of a place where we can talk without being overheard,"

"Sure, fine," Ymir frowned, turning away.

"Good luck," She called desperately, her small voice weak.

"In what?" Ymir turned, raising an eyebrow. "The games, or life?"

"Both," Historia smiled sadly, turning her back. Ymir turned her head, and almost gave in- but Historia's delicate face was the mask it had been only minutes ago.

"What was that?" Bert asked, flexing his long fingers as he set the barbell down. Ymir shrugged, her face passive.

"She needed some help with remembering which plants were which,"

"Didn't look that way to me," Bert muttered, but, mercifully, he let it go. They lifted their respective weights in silence for a few moments, before Ymir finally cracked.

"Do you think I should make an alliance?"

"With who?" He asked, scanning the room. "Several of these people are trained killers, half of them are weak, just dead weight, really. Another quarter are playing up the innocence card, but in reality, they're probably deadly. So that leaves about a quarter of them left. You have to see who they really are before you go making promises you can't keep. A broken alliance could mean a slit throat in the night," Ymir shivered, bringing the barbell to her chest.

"I guess you're right,"

"Why? You thinking of making one with Historia?"

"Maybe," She confessed, sighing. "I just can't tell with her,"

"Just think carefully, Ymir," He set the weight down, rubbing his eyes. "Be smart,"

 _Be smart,_ she thought to herself. _Sounds like something my dad would say._

* * *

 

"So how was your first day?" Petra chirped, clapping her hands together. "Did you make any friends?" 

Bert grimaced, studying his fork, and for the first time, Ymir realized he hadn't spoken to a single person besides her, Petra, and Levi since leaving 12.

"My arms are sore," She remarked, attempting to move the spotlight. "But I lifted 125,"

"Tch. Hardly anything," Levi muttered, tapping his spoon on the edge of his empty plate.

"Oh really?" Ymir grinned, noticing that Bert looked much more relieved now that the attention wasn't on him. "How much can you lift on an average day?"

"Twice that," He responded, narrowing his eyes. "At least,"

Ymir snorted, leaning back in her chair.

"Hey, Levi?" She spoke casually, brushing her dark hair from her eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

Everyone at the table looked up just then, and Ymir thought she might have seen the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

"Go for it,"

"Who is Historia Reiss?"

Petra and Levi exchanged a look before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Why?" Ymir frowned, sitting up. "Is it bad?"

Levi sighed, swirling the ice in his glass.

"Historia is the daughter of District 1's mayor. In 12, the mayor doesn't get a whole lot of say in what goes down, but in 1 and 2, they're practically royalty- hand picked by President Smith. The mayor, Reiss, had two children, but that's not the story the world heard. The other daughter is severely crippled, and is in a wheelchair. Needs a lot of medicine, and constant care. Mayor Reiss was- is- a very self conscious man. So, he faked the child's death, and told the whole world she was dead. Cried petty tears at her funeral, everything,"

"That's awful," Bert breathed, bringing his hand to his mouth. Ymir stayed silent, studying Levi's face.

"Well, as I'm sure you can guess, a fake death didn't phase President Smith. So he visited District 1, and he gave Reiss a message. 'You can hide from the world, but you can't hide from me. Your daughter's name will still be placed in the Reaping each year.'"

"Bastard," Ymir gasped, leaning forward. Petra looked very pale, her blue lipstick making her skin look like snow.

"But Reiss didn't worry. Instead, he figured that if his daughter died, she'd finally be dead- another ghost gone from his house," Bert sat back, looking ill as Levi continued on. 

"After a while, the child's medical bills began skyrocketing. The doctors in District 1 are expensive, after all. So, they fired the girl's caregivers. Historia begged them not to, but her father said just one thing to her: if you want to save her, do it yourself," Ymir winced, thinking briefly of her father. 

"So Historia did everything she could. After a while, she had to drop out of school. Things were looking uphill- until the Reaping, that is,"

"Like Smith had said, the child's name went in every year. As you know, it's common practice to volunteer in Districts 1 and 2- train a few years, illegal, of course- and then volunteer. So when her younger sister's name was called, that's just what Historia Reiss did. Her father had mentioned she had a bit of a martyr complex, but damn," Levi shook his head. "She really went above and beyond for that girl,"

"That settles it," Ymir spoke quietly, her eyes flashing. "I'm going to make an alliance," Petra and Bert gasped, but Levi looked almost as if he had seen this coming. Before anyone could say anything else, she held her hand up.

"I want Historia. And, the way things are looking, I'm going to get her,"

 


	5. In the End it Never Matters

The roof was quiet, flowered shrubs swaying in the cool night air. Ymir wrapped her arms around herself, looking out at the inky sky. The Capitol was glittering, every building in sight lit up, like gold and jewels against the night sky. The lights reflected off of the water, making the whole city shimmer. It was perfect, the most cunning portrait of deceit. However, she noted, she couldn't see any stars.

Historia sat on the very edge of the roof, her legs dangling off of the edge, blonde hair spun silver in the moonlight. 

"You're not gonna jump, are you?"

"Can't," Historia replied as Ymir sat down next to her. "There's an electric field. You'd get zapped, but not enough to kill you. Why don't you put your feet over the edge?"

"Don't like heights," She shivered, looking down at the streets. Glittering black cars drove by, twelve stories below, like shiny black beetles.

Historia stood up, motioning for her to do the same. There was a small garden in the center of the roof, walled in by flowering shrubs and a white gravel path. Wind chimes swayed gently in the breeze, their music like sparkling bells.

"The roof isn't filmed," She spoke, leading Ymir to a bench. "But it does have mics. If we talk here, though," She leaned in on her tiptoes, her lips touching the shell of Ymir's ear, "No one will hear us,"

Ymir shivered, missing the warm breath on her ear the moment Historia pulled away, sitting on one of the long white marble benches. She patted the spot next to her, closing her eyes.

"I want to make an alliance," Ymir spoke all at once, her voice high and strained. "With you,"

Historia nodded to herself, stretching her pale arms.

"So I assume you've heard about me? Levi is your mentor, isn't he? Yes, he knows all about my father. You see, when Levi was in the games, he had an alliance with my aunt,"

"Really?" Ymir frowned, sitting forward. "He never mentioned that,"

"Oh, he wouldn't," Historia sighed. "Levi can be brutal, cruel, rude- the works, really- but he has always remained loyal. He was loyal to my aunt until her last breath,"

"What happened?" Ymir's curiosity got the best of her, and she found herself scooting closer to the small blonde girl, pulled in by every word she said.

"My aunt was, in a way, very strong. Physically, not so great, but mentally- I truly think that if things had been fair, she would have won the games," Historia sighed, closing her eyes. "But the games aren't fair, Ymir. And I don't just mean because of the death. I mean that the Capitol controls the results,"

Ymir's eyes widened, her breath catching in her chest.

"You don't mean-"  
"I do," Historia cut her off, rubbing her eyes. "That's why it is so vital to get a good reputation in the Capitol. Because the more people that love you, the more President Smith will be inclined to keep you alive, to keep the circumstances just slightly in your favor. Do you even know who you're up against?" 

"Not really," Ymir looked away, her head pounding. _Who are these people?_ She wondered. _To train children to kill each other- why?_

"We're going to declare our alliance tomorrow," Historia stood, crossing her arms. "The sooner people know about us, the sooner people will begin supporting us. We need to be seen together as much as possible. Eating meals together, training together- it would also be beneficial if one of us were seen entering or exiting the others room,"

"How are we going to announce it?" Ymir asked, biting her lip. _Standing in front of the training room and announcing I just made either the best or worse decision of my life? I doubt that'll go down well._

"With these," Historia reached into her jacket, pulling out two thick silver rings- one with a Y, and one with an H.

"Wear the one with the H," Historia ordered, slipping it onto Ymir's pinky finger. "I wear the Y. When people see us wearing them, they'll know," She slipped the ring onto her thumb, holding their hands up together. "So we don't have to say anything,"

Ymir nodded to herself, looking down at the ring on her finger.

"So will you teach me?" She blurted, her face going red as Historia frowned.

"Teach you what?"

"You know- that stuff. With the plants," She muttered, looking away. Historia grinned to herself, nodding.

"Sure. But will you teach me something in return?"

"What do you want to learn?"

"What do you know?"

 Ymir hesitated. _What am I good at? What do I know?_

"I can use a bow and a spear, and I know how to hunt and skin animals,"

"Perfect," Historia smiled, her eyes seeming less tired than they had been in a while. "So teach me that,"

Ymir glanced out at the city again, so alive, yet so dead.

"Hey, Historia?" She turned, gazing down at the smaller girl. "What was District 1 like?"

Historia's face softened, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks.

"We lived in a huge house, all white and black marble. There were so many rooms, you could spend years walking down the hallways, looking inside of each one. It was old fashioned, and some of my classmates made fun of me- my parents liked the old ways. They brushed and braided my hair every day before school, and tied it with pale blue ribbons. I was always dressed in white, always- I can't think of a childhood memory where I wasn't in white silk or cotton," Ymir looked down, noticing that Historia was in all black, making her porcelain skin even paler.

"Come on," She smiled kindly, reaching out her hand. "Let's go back,"

"What if someone's awake?"

"Remember what I said about being seen together? It'll help our chances," Ymir nodded, taking a deep breath. The city was still spread out in front of them, picturesque on the black water.

 _But is it really that beautiful up close?_ Ymir remembered how beautiful and odd Petra had looked from a distance, but how wrong she looked up close. From afar, Petra was youth. In front of Ymir, she looked tired, as if she had spent hours applying thick, gummy lipstick to make herself seem more invincible, less afraid.

"Are you scared, Ymir?" Historia's gentle voice shook her out of her reverie. She hadn't specified what there was to be afraid of, but Ymir found herself nodding, avoiding her eyes.

"Me too," She whispered, touching their hands together. As Historia gave her fingers a gentle squeeze, she felt their silver rings touch.

 _Together,_ she thought to herself. _Together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a little short, but the next chapter will probably end up pretty long anyways- again, thank you to everyone who left nice comments, kudos, etc!!!! It really does mean a lot~ hope you're enjoying it so far!!!!


	6. What I Think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween kiddos!!! It finally rained here in LA for the first time in ages and I'm super excited. Hope you enjoy this chapter!!! x

The boy with the brown hair and the gray eyes was the first to look up, his jaw dropping slightly. He reached behind him, groping blindly until he found his friends' shoulders, never once averting his eyes. The smaller blond boy and the black haired girl turned, their eyes widening. Bert was next, the barbell stilling in his hand as he locked eyes with Ymir. She turned, not ready to face her fellow tribute. The blond boy, the other tribute from District 1, stood, eyes widening. Ymir noticed that Historia didn't look him in the eye either, as if she didn't want him to see her.

"Why are they staring?" Ymir hissed, her face heating. She had never had so many eyes on her, save the Reaping. _What am I supposed to do with my hands? Am I supposed to look at anyone?_

"Because we're unlikely," Historia replied, her face serene as she led Ymir to the opposite side of the room, taking her time. "They see me as a princess. They see you as a rogue. Half of the people in this room are disgusted. Half are curious," Historia's fingers touched the glass of the console screen, her fingers flying.

"That over there is Reiner," Historia nodded in the direction of the tall blond boy who was aggressively ignoring her. "He's from my district, luxury. He's great at teamwork, and he's strong as hell. You'd be crazy to take him on alone with no leverage. He's going to make an alliance with Annie and Bert- he was going to invite me as well, but-" She broke off, shaking her head.

"The guy with the weird hair and the long face is Jean," She tilted her head towards a boy with vicious hazel eyes. He was currently attempting to start a fire, staring angrily at the stick in his hands, swearing under his breath. A girl stood next to him, her long brown hair tied in a ponytail.

"Jean, you have to-"

"I know what I'm, doing, Sasha, can you please just-"

"He and Sasha are from District 2- fishing. He's very aware- great ears and eyes, so a sneak attack would fail on him. You'd only be able to take him down by sheer force. Sasha, on the other hand, isn't really a threat. She's hungry like, all the time, and that's probably what'll end up killing her. Her combat skills are good, but not great, and her initiative is poor,"

"Those two over there-" She motioned to a short boy with a shaved head and bright hazel eyes, who was attempting to climb a rope. A girl with black hair in pigtails stood beneath him, sighing. "Are Connie and Mina. Connie is fast- really fast. Like seriously. Do not let him find you, or he'll chase you down and get you. However, his wits are a little low. A trap could take care of him quickly. I think he and Sasha might make an alliance. Mina, however, isn't a threat at all. I can't think of any skill she possesses that could make her even close to dangerous. Average all around,"

"District 4- Franz and Hannah. First things first, they're a couple, so they're instantly vulnerable. Neither of them possess really any skill at all. Don't sweat it- they're probably too afraid to kill anyways," The couple- a girl with red hair and freckles and a boy with skin just a bit lighter than Ymir's wore grim expressions as they attempted to make arrowheads.

"That over there's Marco- I'm thinking he'll make an alliance with Jean, seeing as he's the only one who can stand him. He's smart, and he works well in a team. Threat level- moderate," Marco was climbing the net, muscles bulging slightly from under the black training uniform.

"District 7- Eren and Mikasa. Major threats, both of them. If you take one out, you have to take the other one out immediately. She's his adopted sister, and crazy protective. Eren's initiative and temper are both through the roof- but his wits are low. A trap could take him out, if he was alone and silenced. If Mikasa comes looking," Historia shook her head, her golden hair falling around her face. "It's game over- literally. She's easily one of the strongest here, and she's fiercely loyal. Jean seems to like her, but hates Eren. Jean will, of course, die an immensely painful death if he ever lays a hand on Eren," Ymir glanced over at the boy with the gray eyes, who was fiercely doing pushups, his eyes ablaze. Mikasa stood next to him, her face passive, yet aware.

"Armin and Annie are 11's tributes," Historia motioned to the girl with blonde hair and the shorter blond boy, Ymir's shadow, next to her. "Annie is secretive and strong, and I doubt traps or sneak attacks would work. I'd say let the careers take care of her- don't try to get her on your own. Armin has great judgement, and works well in teams, but physically, he's weak. He may team up with Mikasa and Eren, in which case I'd say watch out,"

"Bert, of course, you know. Combat and teamwork are good, but he lacks aggression. And then there's you," Historia paused, glancing at Ymir.

"You're very picky, and you aren't good in teams. But, on the flip side, you're intelligent, and you look like you have strength under that thick skin,"

"What about you?" Ymir asked.

"I'm self-sacrificing," She replied hollowly, her short fingernails tapping against the screen. "And I'm good in combat. Not great. My wits are low in dangerous situations. It would be easy to take me out with a trap or a sneak attack," 

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So if you decide you want to kill me- or if you have to- you can," Historia turned, squinting at Ymir. "Do you know what's coming up?"

"What?" She frowned, confused. _Did she mean the games? What else-_

"The interviews,"

Ymir shrugged, biting a nail.

"Should be easy,"

"Should be, yes, but probably won't be," Historia paused, studying Ymir's face.

"Who are you?"

"What?" Ymir spluttered. "You know who I-"

"Relax," She sighed, tucking her long blonde hair behind her ear. "I know who you are. But the Capitol- they don't. You made a pretty big impression when you burst into flames in from of the whole world. So now, you have to really do well on your interview. You have to show them exactly who you are,"

"What if I don't like who I am?"

"Then make it up as you go along. What do you think I did?"

Ymir nodded, frowning.

"Will you help me? Decide who I am, that is," Historia gave her a very strange look, her eyes narrowing, but in the end, she nodded, a gentle smile forming on her lips.

"Come to my room after training tonight," She whispered, her lips just barely grazing the sensitive skin of Ymir's ear. "It's important for them to see us together, and we'll talk there,"

* * *

District 1's apartment was, in many ways, almost the exact same as District 12's, much to the relief of Ymir- after all of the pomp and propriety, she didn't think she could handle anything more luxurious. Historia stretched her arms, leading the taller girl into her room, shutting the door quietly behind them. Her bed was a perfect circle, a lilac bedspread covering a thick mattress. Ymir nibbled her thumbnail, unsure of what to do. 

"Sit," Historia motioned, falling backwards onto her bed.

Ymir sat down awkwardly, wiping her sweaty palms on her training pants.

"First things first," Historia announced, turning to face Ymir, "We need to select an image for you,"

"An image?"

"Sexy, dangerous, mysterious, smart, cute, proper- you know, how you appear to the public. I think we can rule out cute and proper-"

"Hey!"

"Sorry! Maybe smart, or dangerous- sexy even?" Ymir's cheeks flamed, and she looked away, rolling her eyes.

"I doubt that would work." 

"Maybe we could do a little mixing and matching. After all, who says you can't be mysterious, sexy, and smart?" Historia mused, lifting a finger to her lips. Ymir blushed again, a dusty rose hue gathering high on her cheeks.

"Okay. So say I'm Hanji, the interviewer, alright? And you're you," Ymir blushed again, but managed to sit up formally, taking a deep breath. She nodded her assent, closing her eyes.

"It's great to see you today, Miss Ymir! How are you feeling?" Historia's voice took on a talk show host quality, her eyes bright. 

"I, um. Uh-"

"Too long. No stuttering,"

"Fine, fine, sorry- I'm doing great Hanji, how are-"

"Wrong," Historia shook her head, sighing. "The interview is about you, not Hanji. Although at this rate, that would be more interesting-" 

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry- let's take it from the top. It's great to see you today, Miss Ymir! How are you feeling?"

Ymir took a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders.

"I'm great, Hanji,"

"Wrong!" Historia covered her face with her hands. "Way too vague! The Capitol doesn't care if you're 'great'- they want details, Ymir, _details_ ,"

"Like what?" Ymir asked, exasperated. _Damn_ , she thought to herself. _She was right, this is tricky as hell._

"Anything, really- 'Oh, I'm good, Hanji, I'm just so homesick!' guaranteed to get sympathy, for instance-" 

"I'm not homesick,"

"Okay, well, how about, 'I'm just fine, Hanji! Tell me something- do I smell like roses to you?'"

"Gross, no!" Ymir fell back onto the bed, rubbing her eyes. "Can we just skip to the next question?"

"Fine, fine. So how are you liking the Capitol, Ymir?"

"It's great,"

"Vague!" Historia collapsed next to Ymir again, sighing. "You gotta give them something, there's no way you'll win favor by being so blunt. Can't you act, Ymir?"

"No,"

"Fine," Historia groaned, lifting herself from the thick, cushioned mattress. "I'm ordering dinner. When I come back, have it down,"

"Yes, ma'am," Ymir muttered, wincing. _How the hell am I supposed to come up with an image? I don't even know who I am. Does my survival really depend on some stupid interview with someone named Hanji?_

 _It does,_ Ymir could practically hear Historia's voice in her head. _Of course it does._

Historia walked back into the room, braiding her hair down the side.

"Go," Ymir spoke, standing up straight.

"Huh?"

"I'm ready for my interview. Go,"

Historia understood at once, dropping her hair mid-braid.

"It's great to see you today, Miss Ymir! How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great, Hanji!" Ymir's lips twisted into a grin as she moved her bangs out of her face. "A little heavier, though. I've been eating all week- I tell ya, there's a reason they don't include the calorie counts on the menus," Historia giggled, leaning against the wall.

"Well, I suppose you're liking the Capitol so far. Tell me, do you think you're ready for the games?"

"Trust me, Hanji- I've made an alliance with the smartest, bravest tribute I could find," Historia's cheeks flamed, and she looked down. "I think I'm ready."

"You're ready," Historia smiled slightly, not looking her in the eye. "Trust me,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Thanks again to everyone who left kudos, nice comments, etc. Luv you kiddos x <3


	7. And I Can Barely Tell the Sky From the Shoreline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody notice I seem to have a thing for glitter on girls? This is my life and these are my choices

Ymir stood, legs shaking slightly, leaning against the wall. Pictures of someone with brown hair and glasses covered the walls, posing with people who she could only guess were victors.

"District 1 is on in ten. I'll be the first to go," Historia spoke, taking Ymir's hand in her own. Their silver rings touched, warm from their skin. "Remember what we practiced, okay? Be calm, like you do this sort of thing all the time,"

Ymir nodded, her heart thrumming in her chest.

"Historia?" Reiner called, motioning. "We're on soon, get over here!"

"Right, sorry!" She called, fluttering her eyelashes.

"I've gotta go. Remember what I said, okay?"

"I will," Ymir spoke, her voice strained. Without Historia at her side, she felt even more vulnerable, as if she'd left a vital piece of her behind.

All of a sudden, the lights in the hallway dimmed, and the crowd outside roared to life, whistling and screaming. Screens in the hallway lit up, advertising the whole affair. Historia flounced out, waving and grinning at the crowd.

 _I should learn from her_ , Ymir mused. _She's the greatest actress I've ever seen- no one knows the real her._

Historia's dress was a pastel, cotton candy pink concoction, all tulle and layers and white glitter. The hem reached past her feet, and the corset laced up to her chest, her arms and shoulders bare and covered in the same glitter. Her hair was in loose ringlets, falling around her face, which was blushing (artificial, Ymir was positive) and gleaming.

"Miss Reiss!" Hanji announced, wearing a blue suit and tie, covered in glitter. "It's great to have you here in the Capitol tonight! How are you feeling?" 

"Like the luckiest girl alive!" Historia gushed, grinning. "All of the luxuries available here- and it's all thanks to the Capitol's generosity!" She flashed what Ymir instantly recognized as a fake smile out at the cheering crowd, many of which were looking at her like she had placed the stars in the sky.

"And would you say you're prepared?"

Historia gave Hanji a very knowing smile before nodding.

"I'd say I'm very prepared,"

Ymir waited, tapping her foot and biting her nails. She had hoped that when Historia came off stage, she would come talk to her, but instead, she was swarmed by her prep team the moment she stepped into the hallway. Reiner walked onto stage, replacing her quickly.

"Did the shoes work out alright?"

"Yes, yes, they were fine, listen, can I-"

"And you makeup didn't smudge at all?"

"No, but can I-"

"You could've looked a bit more enthusiastic, you know-"

"I really just want to talk to-" And just like that, District 1's prep team swirled her out of the room, still combing her hair and poking various brushes at her face.

Ymir sighed, leaning against the wall. Petra had finally succumbed to her iron will, allowing her to wear a suit- however, she had still gotten her way, dusting the whole thing with fine black glitter. She was vaguely aware of the screen in the corner of her eye, halfheartedly watching as Reiner moved confidently over to Hanji, shaking hands and nodding, sitting down on the lush couch.

Her prep team had told her they were going to apply "minimalistic makeup", but Ymir's face had never felt heavier. Looking at her reflection in the mirrored wall, she hardly recognized herself. Mike had covered her freckles and dusted her cheeks with a very light brush of gold glitter, just enough to make her glimmer when she walked on stage. He had painted her eyelids as well, a sharp black line on each lid, accompanied by a metallic gold streak just above.

She turned, her sharp eyes focusing on the screen. Sasha sat, legs crossed, and Ymir could tell instantly that she had chosen to go for humorous as her image. Hanji sat, head thrown back in laughter, as Sasha spoke, grinning.

Ymir felt herself losing focus, zoning out as the many tributes swept onstage, making their grand entrances. Around the time Mikasa and Eren flitted onstage- mysterious and determined, respectively, she felt a something nudge her shoulder.

"Hey," Bert muttered, looking straight ahead.

"Hey yourself," Ymir spoke, turning. "Where have you been?" 

"Getting ready," Bert paled, his skin sallow and beaded with sweat.

"Oh, that's right," Ymir remembered, frowning. "You're not so good with people, are you?"

He let out a shaky laugh, running his hand through his hair.

"No, not really," Bert looked down, his face forlorn. "I haven't seen you in a while. You're always off with Historia,"

"We made an alliance. I told you that," Eren walked off the stage, eyes bright and determined. Annie was on next, her silvery blonde hair pulled into a bun.

"I had wanted to make an alliance with you," Bert murmured, his eyes downcast.

"You what?" Ymir gasped, whirling to look at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked-"

"Like hell, that's not an excuse-"

"Ymir, please don't-"

"You never said anything!"

"How could you think I didn't want you? I was scared. We're the underdogs, Ymir, we're supposed to stick together-"

"Says who?" Ymir fumed as Armin, politely pretending he didn't notice the conflict, walked onstage.

"Ymir, you're on next-" Levi spoke, entering the hall.

"Stay out of this," Ymir hissed, whipping back to face Bert.

"Why didn't you say anything? What's this whole 'we're supposed to be together' bullshit? Says who? If you wanted me so bad, you should've spoken up and-" Levi pulled her arm towards the door, where Armin was walking off stage, his eyes wide.

The spotlights hit Ymir's face as the crowd cheered, Hanji grinning and beckoning her over. Her heart froze in her chest, the sight of thousands- no, millions, at the very least- all cheering, screaming for her. Her feet, numb with shock, carried her over to the couch. 

"Well, well!" Hanji spoke, grinning. "What an honor- Ymir, how are you feeling today?" 

_Remember what we talked about_ , Historia's voice rang in her ears. _Your survival depends on it._

"I'm doing great, Hanji," Ymir's face fell into her practiced toothy smile. "But let me tell you, I'm feeling quite a bit heavier than when I first arrived. They don't put the calorie counts on the food here for a reason, huh?"

Hanji roared with laughter, head tilted back. "That was a great one, Ymir- fantastic!"

"Let me ask you something," Hanji spoke, once the crowd had calmed down. "Do you believe you're prepared for the games?"

Ymir looked directly into the camera, smiling softly. _Can you see me, Historia?_

"I'm ready,"

* * *

 

"Can I stay here?" Ymir whispered, her face buried in Historia's pillow, soaked through with her tears.

"Yes," Historia murmured, running her fingers through Ymir's smooth, straight hair. "Of course you can,"

She stayed for a moment, before standing up, shutting the door quietly behind her as she left the room. Ymir could hear voices just outside the door- not just Historia's, but two men as well. _Reiner?_ She thought to herself. _But who else?_

Historia's room was mercifully quiet, the only noises the slight ticking of a clock and Ymir's breathing. The walls were a powder white, so pale they were almost transparent. There were no windows, but a large mirror filled an entire wall.

 _I look like a ghost_ , Ymir thought miserably. _A shell of a girl. Where did I go? The real me, I mean. Where is she now?_

Historia opened the door, a crack of bright, fluorescent light trickling in. She carried a large tray, complete with a mug and a steaming bowl. 

"Hey," She murmured. "Can you sit up?"

Ymir nodded, pulling herself up to rest against the headboard. Historia uncovered the mug and bowl, revealing a tureen full of noodles in broth, with several slices of boiled egg on top. The mug was filled with a steaming chocolatey liquid she had never seen before.

"Chicken noodle soup and hot chocolate," Historia elaborated, blushing slightly. "When I was a child, every time I got upset about something, my mother would make me this. I called the kitchens, and," She shrugged, looking down. "Food can make you feel better, if it's prepared with love,"

Ymir nodded, looking away.

"He probably hates me now,"

"Who hates you?"

"Bert," Ymir winced, looking down. "He said he wanted to make an alliance with me, but he was too scared to tell me. All the pressure was just coming down on me, and I couldn't help it, I just snapped. It wouldn't have even phased me two days ago, but," She paused, wiping her eyes.

"He doesn't hate you," Historia shook her head, stirring the noodles. "I don't know Bert very well, admittedly, but," She dipped the spoon in the golden broth, filling it. "He doesn't seem like the type to harbor hatred over something like that. Open," Historia held the spoon in front of her, her eyes soft. 

"You don't need to feed me. I can do it myself,"

"I know you can," Historia murmured. "But I want to,"

Ymir opened her mouth, letting Historia care for her. As she spooned mouthfuls of warm broth and noodles in, Ymir began to feel hot tears trickling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" The blonde girl asked, frowning. "Is it bad?"

"No," Ymir whimpered, her voice cracking. "It's good- it- it's really good,"

Ymir covered her face, tears seeming to pour from her eyes. Her breath hitched as she tried to contain a sob, her hands clenching into fists.

"Hey," Historia spoke, putting the spoon down. "Hey, Ymir look at me,"

She shook her head, trying to control herself. _Stop crying, stop crying, come on. The games haven't even begun yet, you can't let yourself break._

Historia's arms wrapped around Ymir, holding her to her chest. 

"You're safe," She murmured, running her hands through her hair. "You're safe,"

"For how long?" Ymir choked, tears staining her shirt.

"Forever," Historia whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making poor Ymir cry. The games are going to be beginning very soon and I swear it'll get a lot more interesting! Much love x


	8. And I Can See Myself Reflected in Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!! Sorry it took me so long to update, I've been super busy. I hope you like it! Thank you to everyone who left nice comments/kudos/etc~ luv you guys <3

Ymir's eyelashes fluttered open, tickling her cheekbones. Her heart raced for a moment as she frowned at the gold painted ceiling, panic coursing through her veins.

_Where am I?_

A small sigh caught her attention, and she looked down. Historia's soft, blonde head was resting on her chest, her breath soft. She was shrouded in puffy white blankets, and she looked like she was wrapped in a cloud. Ymir found herself smiling gently, closing her eyes. Historia looked so delicate, like petals from flowers she had never had the privilege of touching. In a way, her skin was too smooth, too perfect- Ymir found herself afraid to touch it, worried she might smudge her perfection, like muddy boots in fresh, clean snow.

 _Don't think so much_ , she scolded herself, squeezing her eyes shut. Historia twitched, her blonde hair falling to reveal her sleepy eyelids blinking open.

"Hey," Ymir whispered, trying to sound smoother than she felt. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah," She yawned softly, "But I'm glad you did," Within seconds, she had curled up against Ymir again, dozing.

Ymir sighed to herself, her lips turned up in a smile.

_I wish I could capture this moment right now. I wish I could remember this forever._

_And how long, exactly, will forever be? The games are tomorrow._ Ymir's grin evaporated, and a small crinkle formed between her brows.

_Don't be stupid. We have an alliance._

* * *

"So where were you last night?" Levi asked casually, sipping his "coffee"- more liquor than anything else, Ymir suspected.

"In Historia's apartments," Ymir matched his cold tone, refusing to make eye contact. She picked up the butter knife delicately, spreading the creamy honeyed butter on her roll. "I needed to cool down,"

"Ymir, I'm sorry-" Bert spoke from the other end of the table, wringing his hands.

"It's okay," Ymir smiled warmly, looking him in the eye. "I don't blame you," Just as Historia had told her, he looked as if the heaviest weight in the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

"So, you cooled down? What exactly did Miss Reiss do to 'cool you down'?"

Ymir's cheeks flamed, but she adamantly refused to give him the pleasure of seeing her truly angry again. 

"She treated me like a human being," Ymir met his eyes, narrowing her own. "Much more than you've done, hm?" 

The table was silent, Bert looking down anxiously, Petra whipping her head back and forth between the two, her eyes wide. 

"Fair enough," Levi shrugged, his eyes passive.

Bert and Petra sighed simultaneously, relaxing back into their seats. Ymir focused on her roll, sprinkling on cinnamon from a small dish on the table. The room was oddly silent now, the steady clink of her knife and the sound of Levi sipping his coffee filling the air.

"Today is the last day of training," Petra spoke at last, wringing her dainty hands together. She was in emerald green today, a color which Ymir thought suited her much better than the tacky neon hues she had worn in the past week. "So if- if you need anything," She gulped, looking away, "Come to us."

"Thank you, Petra," Bert spoke, looking her in the eye. "Really. Thank you,"

Petra sighed, smiling.

"It's no trouble. You two may be dismissed," Ymir scooted her chair back, heading towards the door.

"Thank you," She murmured, resting her hand on the wooden door frame. Petra's eyes widened, and Ymir shut the door before she could respond. _I can't let her down,_ she thought to herself miserably. _Not another person._

* * *

"No, like this," Historia spoke, guiding Ymir's fingers gently over her own. "You have to pull the second strand over and through the third twice, see?"  _  
_

Ymir sighed, wincing.

"Why can't I just leave the knot tying to you?"

"What happens if I die?"

"If you die, I'm going to have a bigger problem than how to loop two damn strings together," Historia turned, narrowing her eyes.

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it. Now can we please move to another station? My fingers are getting stiff,"

"No," Historia shook her head, tossing a bundle of twine towards her. "You're strong. I've taught you all I know about medicinal and venomous plants. Now we have to learn basic survival. After you tie those knots- correctly- we're going to learn how to catch a fish," 

Ymir sighed, but she didn't argue. She suspected that, in a way, Historia's protectiveness came from experience- her need to control probably came from having no control over her own life.

_Would it really hurt to humor her? She is right, after all._

Ymir looked down, cutting a length of twine from the spool. Narrowing her eyes, she tried to remember the steps Historia had taught her. Second over the third and through- how many times?

"Like this," Historia murmured in her ear, wrapping her arms around Ymir's shoulders and taking her hands. "Two, one, three, two, one, three, two, one, three,"

Historia's fingers were soft, uncalloused and warm. Ymir felt her heart thumping in her chest, eyes prickling.

_I'm not ready. Not just to tie a goddamn knot. I'm not ready._

"Hey," The smaller girl murmured, stroking her thumb. "You wanna stay at my place again tonight?"

"Yeah," Ymir sniffled, blinking her eyes quickly.

_Twice in 24 hours? After refusing to cry for nine years? Maybe I am pushing it._

"You should probably go tell your mentor and Bert that you won't be there, okay?"

"Yeah, alright," Ymir spoke, standing. She wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath. Her cheeks flamed as she walked out of the room, entering the lobby of the training center. The room had a high ceiling, made of thick, colored glass. Looking up, Ymir noticed dimly that it was raining. The glass elevator doors dinged open as she pressed her finger to the up button, and she stepped inside, her clunky boots clicking gently on the smooth floor.

The elevator was so fast it was dizzying, and if Ymir didn't have more self discipline, she would've ridden it up and down again, watching the world spin around like a little girl on a carousel.

 _Don't lose yourself_ , she grimaced, wincing. The doors dinged open again, and she stepped out into the plush hallway.

Bert was sitting at the table when she walked in, looking up as she stomped inside.

"Hey," She frowned. "Why aren't you in the training room?"

"Could ask you the same question," He shrugged, sipping tea out of a small powder blue teacup.

"I just came up to tell you that I'm gonna spend the night at Historia's,"

"We figured," He sighed. "But thanks for letting me know anyways,"

"So can you, ah-" Ymir looked down, feeling awkward. "Can you tell Levi for me? I really don't feel like-"

He cut her off with a nod, looking away.

"You'd better get your stuff. The games are tomorrow,"

"I don't have any stuff," Ymir spoke stiffly, leaning against the door frame. "I don't own anything,"

Bert shrugged again, still refusing to meet her eye.

"Well, then you'd better go,"

Ymir turned, her heart giving a pang in her chest. Pity began to bloom in her already guilty conscience- this man- no, this _boy_ \- had been kind to her regardless of how snappish she had been with him- he had even let her wear his clothes.

"Bert, I am sorry that-"

"Forget it," He spoke, his tone passive. And just like that, the blossom died. Ymir closed the door behind her, not caring how loud the reverberation was.

As she rode the elevator down, she leaned her forehead against the cool glass, wondering if it was too early to hide out in Historia's room. It was only when the elevator settled on the ground floor that Ymir realized that Bert had never told her why he was sitting alone on the top floor.

All of the doors in the Capitol were unlocked, Ymir realized as she pushed open the door to District 1's quarters. There wasn't a single door she had laid her palm on that hadn't opened as soon as it had felt her warm touch.

 _What a contradiction_ , she shook her head as she toed out of her boots, crawling into Historia's bed. , _Every door is open for us,_ _but they all bring us closer to death._

* * *

"Hey," A soft, warm hand stroked Ymir's shoulder, bringing her out of her daze. "You awake?"

Ymir groaned, twisting herself further into the mass of feathered down and silk comforters, squeezing her eyes shut.

"What time is it?"

"It's almost two AM- we need to be up in two hours,"

"What the hell? Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" Ymir swore under her breath, sitting up.

"You looked like you really needed it," Historia spoke gently, frowning slightly. "Have you been sleeping at all in these past few weeks?"

"... Course," Ymir mumbled, rubbing her tired eyes with the back of her hand. "Been sleeping just fine,"

"You can go back to sleep," Historia stood, looking down at the taller girl fondly. "But you have to be up by three,"

"No," She shook her head, throwing the covers off. "I need you to do something for me,"

"What do you need?" Historia's eyes widened at the determined grimace on Ymir's face.

"I need... I need you to do my makeup,"

"What?!"

"I'm serious! I have the worst resting face ever. I look like I'm going to kill someone,"

"Isn't that the point?!"

"No!" Ymir threw her hands up, exasperated. "Can you please just make me look normal? Just this once,"

Historia sighed, shaking her head.

"I can try,"

* * *

"Ow!" Ymir winced, lifting her hand to her eyelid.

"Don't touch it!" Historia scolded, swatting her innocent hand away.

"You didn't tell me it would hurt," She grumbled, her left eye tearing up. 

"It doesn't hurt," The blonde girl rolled her eyes, coating a small, spongy brush in shimmery white eyeshadow. "You're just sensitive. Come on, let's get this over with," 

Ymir glanced at the clock, and sighed before nodding. _3:48 AM. Time to move._

"Remember not to wipe your eyes," Historia murmured, pushing her hair out of her wide blue eyes.

"I won't," She responded, twiddling her fingers. The hallway seemed to go on forever, an infinite amount of doors surrounding them.

 _I could open any door I wanted_ , Ymir mused, biting her lip. _I could hide out forever, and never have to face the games._

"Don't bite your lip like that," Historia mumbled, taking her hand. "Squeeze my fingers instead,"

"Are you sure?" Ymir asked, her face heating.

"Of course I'm sure," She squeezed, clenching her hand into a fist like she did so often, but this time, it was different. Historia's skin was smooth, warm- in a way, it was as comforting as a mother's touch. 

Ymir continued to grip Historia's hand as they walked onto to the roof of the training center. She squeezed tightly when the hovercraft appeared in the sky, with what she was sure was bruising force. The smaller girl never once winced, never showed any sign of feeling. As the craft descended, she unlaced her fingers from Ymir's, turning to look the other girl in the eye.

"The next time we see each other will be in the games," She spoke, her face a mask.

"What?"

"We won't be able to sit together on the craft, so-" Her voice cracked, and she pulled out a cord from around her neck.

"What is that?" The leather cord was long, and had what looked like a stone on it.

"Keep it," She spoke urgently as the craft's doors opened, jamming the cord into the other girls palm. "Goodbye, Ymir," And before she could say anything, her smooth, blonde head had disappeared into the smooth black doorway.

As soon as she vanished from sight, panic set in, and Ymir was shaking, her legs weak, her head spinning. The sky was white and empty, and she felt herself stumbling. 

"Whoa," A pair of strong arms caught her before she could fall. "Ymir, what's going on?"

Ymir turned, looking into Bert's concerned eyes.

"Nothing. Just a little dizzy. Thank you," She turned, clenching her fists. The door to the hovercraft stood open, and before she knew it, her own feet were subconsciously carrying her inside. The interior matched the exterior- black, glimmering, and cold. Historia and Reiner sat next to each other, strapped into elevated benches. Next to them, Jean and Sasha sat, pale and shaking slightly. Jean's eyes were wide, but he refused to look anywhere but straight ahead. Ymir took her seat at the end of the line next to Bert, keeping her expression neutral. A woman was coming down the line, with what looked like a thick, metal syringe in hand.

"Arm," She spoke as she got to Ymir, holding a pasty hand out.

"What is it?" She asked nervously, biting her lip.

The woman grabbed her arm, shoving the black needle into the crook of her arm.

"Tracker," She spoke, disinterested. A small light flickered inside her skin, and Ymir looked away, feeling ill.

The hovercraft began to descend, and her heart began to hammer in her chest, making her dizzy again. Looking up, she noticed that, for once, none of the tributes looked cocky at all. Jean and Eren both looked terrified- only Mikasa, Annie, and Historia looked completely indifferent.

The craft landed with a slight shudder, and a row of lights underneath the benches began to glow as the doors opened. Bert offered Ymir his hand, helping her out of her seat. Historia's eyes zeroed in to where their hands were attached, and an odd emotion flickered across her face- if Ymir weren't so distracted, she almost would've called it jealousy.

The hovercraft led into a building a bit like a hospital- Mike, along with a small crowd of other stylists, were waiting at the end of a dim hallway, talking between themselves.

"Are you ready?" He murmured, guiding Ymir into a room with sterilized white walls and flooring.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" She snapped, her hands still shaking.

"You're right," Mike spoke quietly, "I'm sorry,"

As he dressed her in front of a long, floor length mirror, Ymir found that she was no longer disgusted by her body. Her skin was no longer so sallow, its rich color returning. She wasn't as thin, either, to her relief. She had filled out in all the right places, and her arms and abs were toned and muscled. 

As Mike came to her neck, he hesitated, his eyes lingering on Historia's necklace. Miraculously, his eyes slid past it.

"Prepare for launch in- 30 seconds," A voice came over the loudspeaker, and Ymir began to shake again, noticing for the first time a tube-like chute in the corner. The front of it slid open as Mike finished zipping a black windbreaker around her strong shoulders.

"Thank you," Ymir spoke, her voice cracking.

"For letting you keep the necklace?"

"20 seconds," The automated voice chimed in.

"For everything," Ymir took a deep breath, walking away from Mike.

_I can't disappoint him, too._

"Hey," Mike murmured, catching her shoulder. "I need you to know something,"

"What's that?"

"I'm not allowed to make bets," He looked her in the eye, all seriousness. "But if I could, I would bet on you,"

"10 seconds,"

"Be strong," He spoke. "And get in the chute,"

Without another word, she turned, entering the glass. Her fingers found their way to her neck, fingering the cord. 

"5 seconds," Ymir's heart thrummed in her chest, and she looked desperately to Mike, who nodded, his face solemn.

Before she could breathe, the chute lifted, and daylight hit her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so now that the games have finally begun, this will start getting a lot more interesting, I promise. However, I would also like to draw your attention to the warnings- there will be major character death and a lot of violence. It's the hunger games, guys, if you've read the books or seen the movies, you know what to expect. If you're uncomfortable with either of those, you might want to stop reading this. Much love! <3


	9. And This Was All a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! This chapter is a little short, but I promise, there's a ton of action. PLEASE remember that it's rated explicit for a reason. If you're really sensitive with blood/gore/violence I would not recommend. Hope you enjoy!!!

The sunlight hit Ymir's face, rendering her temporarily blind. She lifted her hand to her hazel eyes, blinking rapidly. The sound of static filled the air, and she blinked, her eyes widening. She was standing on a podium, surrounded by her fellow tributes. The podiums were all arranged in a wide circle- Reiner stood to her left, Historia next to him. To Ymir's right, Bert was sweating profusely, paler than she'd ever seen him. 

In the center of the circle was a wide, metallic cornucopia, filled with supplies- Ymir's heart nearly stopped- a bow, smooth and wooden; metal spears with glinting gold tips; packs filled with food and canteens and medicine. She looked to Historia, who was shaking her head vigorously.

"No!" She mouthed, pointing behind her. The arena was a forest, the center a grassy clearing. Historia motioned desperately to the trees, but before she could nod, or say anything, a loudspeaker filled the air.

"Tributes, welcome," Ymir didn't recognize the voice- feminine, but cold. "The 74th annual hunger games will begin in 10,"

Historia shook her head wildly as Ymir eyed the bow again, biting her lip.

 _The cornucopia is a bloodbath_ , Levi's voice echoed in her head.

 _He's right_ , Ymir thought desperately. 9, 8.

 _But how am I going to survive with no supplies?_ 7, 6.

 _There's no way the two of us can make it with nothing_. 5, 4.

Historia's eyes widened, her face distorted with fear. She continued to shake her head frantically, motioning to the forest behind her. 3, 2.

 _It's for the best. Neither of us will survive without weapons_. 1.

 _It's for-_ 0.

Ymir hesitated, and before she could blink, Historia was off of her pedestal, tearing towards the woods. A blunt, heavy pain hit her in the leg, and Ymir fell, wincing. Before she could get up, she grabbed a small sack and sprinted in the direction she had seen the blonde girl go. As she began to draw closer to the cover of trees, she fell to her feet, gripping her side. Looking up, the girl with a ponytail- Sasha, she remembered dimly- was also on her side, looking terrified. The two of them stared at each other for a second, deer in headlights, before pushing off in opposite directions. The cannon boomed in her ears, and her heart raced.

Turning, she felt horror bubble in her chest.

"Marco, over here!" Jean shouted, motioning the taller man over.

"I'm-" His speech was cut off as a knife ripped through his throat, his face going slack. He collapsed into the grass, blood bubbling from underneath him.

"Marco!" Jean screamed, his eyes wide in shock.

Ymir turned away, her heart pounding.

"Help!" A feminine voice shrieked, sobbing. Turning, Ymir saw the redhead that Historia had pointed out. _What had she said? Hailey? Hannah? Yes, Hannah._

 _First things first, they're a couple,_ Historia's voice rang in her head. Hannah was crouching over Franz's limp body, screaming at the top of her lungs. She looked up, whipping her head back and forth. She made eye contact with Ymir, howling desperately.

"Help, please, he's not bre-" An arrow pierced her chest, blood blooming out like a black flower on her windbreaker. She collapsed, landing on top of Franz, both of their eyes still wide open and glassy.

Ymir made for the woods as fast as she could, her lungs burning in her chest. While moving full speed, she shoved the sack into her shirt, dimly feeling the itchy material against her ribs.

_It's for her. It's for her. Where the hell is she?_

Not for the first time, she felt true panic rip through her, suffocating her. The cannon boomed again, a loud crack in the sky.

_What if I can't find her?_

Ymir shook her head, running forward as fast as she could, running past trees that all blurred together, a splotchy mess of green and brown. She noticed the slope too late, and she was crashing downwards before she knew it, tumbling and falling, her legs scraping against rocks and gnarled roots. Finally, she came to a stop at the thick trunk of a tree, her knee throbbing.

"Ah," She breathed to herself, wincing. The strong material of her leggings was torn through, her scraped leg bleeding, dirt embedded in her raw skin. Shutting her eyes, she stood, shivering.

 _I've come far enough_ , she mused, looking at the tree above her. _I can spend the night here and look for Historia in the morning_. Hands shaking, she began to scale the tree, her knee screaming in protest. She had made it to a branch near the top of the forest canopy when her leg gave out, collapsing beneath her. Breathing in unsteadily, she scooted up against the base of the tree, closing her eyes.

_This isn't good. It's been what, two, three hours, and I'm already injured? I bet Levi's laughing somewhere in the Capitol, telling everyone he told them so._

Shivering, Ymir looked to the sky, her eyes dry for once. The sky itself was beginning to darken, looking almost stormy. The cannon was still firing off, and she took a deep breath, recollecting herself.

Pulling herself out of her reverie, Ymir remembered the sack she had stolen from the cornucopia. Fishing it out from under her windbreaker, she pried it open, examining the contents. A sleeping bag, dry, unseasoned crackers, thin beef strips, iodine, matches, wire, rope, a pair of heavy sunglasses- and, miraculously, a canteen. Her heart racing, Ymir twisted it open with shaking fingers- empty.

 _Water is my first priority now_ , she thought to herself, gathering the rope. I'll find Historia tomorrow. Wrapping herself in her sleeping bag, she unfolded the rope, anchoring herself to the branch.

 _I wonder who died today. Is Historia still alive? What about Bert?_   She shook her head, wincing. My wounds should be fine by tomorrow. _If I can find water, I can wash them out._

The sky was darker now, a heavy indigo, no stars in sight. _Do they have stars in the games?_   She wondered idly, shutting her eyes. _Do they care enough to give us a real sky?_

The anthem of the Capitol began playing, a triumphant orchestral score. Ymir glanced up, where the faces of the fallen tributes graced the sky.

Altogether, eleven tributes had died in the bloodbath, although she only recognized the names and faces of four.

_Franz and Hannah, both District 4._

_Marco Bott, District 5._

_Thomas, a boy she knew barely anything about- District 6._

Ymir bit her lip, doing the math in her head. That leaves 13 of us left. Sighing with relief, she watched the presentation the whole way through.

Historia, Reiner, Jean, Sasha, Connie, Mina, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Annie, and Bert were all alive- relief and panic coursed through her veins, dancing a waltz in her head.

Historia and Bert were alive. They were okay. But, at the same time, so was everyone else- including Mikasa, Eren, and Annie.

 _Threat level: major_ , Historia's voice echoed in her head, making her shiver.

 _Eren is aggressive, and determined. He'll stop at nothing. Mikasa is protective of him- touch him and your hands will be gone before you can blink. And as for Annie, well._ Historia's speech filled her mind, her sweet, chiming voice serious. _She's as beautiful and as cold as ice._

The night air was soothing, the sounds of (most likely automated) crickets and cicadas chirping. The sounds of wildlife filled her mind, and she let herself drift off, the air cool around her.

Just as the bliss of deep sleep was about to overcome her, a crackling sound came from her right. Whipping her head towards the noise, she saw a small girl- Mina, from Connie's district- building a fire.

 _You idiot_ , Ymir thought to herself, her heart racing. I'll be damned if the Career pack doesn't get her within twenty minutes. Mina's small frame hunched over the fire, smoke twirling in ribbons towards the sky. Her silky black hair was drawn into loose pigtails, her cheeks flushed pink.

Ymir remembered the night of the interviews, when she had worn her glittering suit and Historia had worn the pink tulle dress. Mina and Armin both had opted for the innocent look- rosy cheeks, big smiles, and nothing but laughter. Mina didn't look like she was laughing anymore.

Soon enough, a twig behind Ymir broke. Whipping her head around, she saw a group of shadowy figures murmuring to themselves, jostling towards Mina. Recognizing Eren at the front of the pack, she looked away, wincing. The careers were here.

A long, loud scream erupted, and the cannon fired. Eren was in hysterics, laughing and slapping his knees.

"You hear that one?" He wiped his eye, slinging an arm around Mikasa's shoulder. "Please, no, don't kill me!" He mocked Mina's voice, laughing.

Mina was sprawled on the ground, blood pouring from her neck, creating a sticky black puddle around her. Her hair glistened in the light of the fire, the smoke still dancing towards the clouds.

"Where did you say she went?" Mikasa turned, looking at a girl, still emerged in the shadows.

The girl stepped into the light, and Ymir's heart stopped, her eyes locked on the sight in front of her.

"Ymir went that way," Historia pointed into the woods, her voice cold. "Follow me, and I'll find her,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhhhhh man sorry about that. I didn't want to kill anyone but it had to happen I'm s o r r y  
> Anyways let me know what you think!!! Thank you for all the comments/kudos/etc. Luv you kiddos <3


	10. And It's Coming Back to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little short, but I promise, the next one will be longer. Remember that it is rated explicit for a reason kiddos! Much love x

Historia shivered, wrapping her sleeping bag around her. The clearing was cold, her breath coming out in transparent puffs.

_Forgive me, Ymir. I did it for you._

Around her, Mikasa and Eren slept peacefully, eyelashes fluttering gently. Armin stood watch over them, a long, gold-tipped spear in his pale hands.

 _Do they dream?_   She wondered idly, watching the cold black sky. _What do they dream of? What lies inside a killer's mind?_

* * *

Ymir was thirsty, thirstier than she'd been in her entire life. With the pale gray light of morning came a twisting, stabbing feeling in her abdomen. Her mouth was dry and rough, as if it had been stuffed with sand. Her head was fuzzy, and her limbs felt weak- just _breathing_ felt like hell. The air felt warm this morning, she realized as she began to wake. Hot, almost. And what was that sound? A crackling, like breaking. A steady _tch tch tch_ , almost a drumroll. Her skin began to break out in sweat, and what felt like scratchy, dry kisses covered her skin.

Ymir's eyes snapped open.

Fire.

To her right, a wall of flames was emerging, rolling towards her. Her breath catching in her chest, Ymir's fingers fumbled to untie the ropes, grabbing her pack. She had only managed to climb down about halfway when she realized she only had one option- she had to jump. Her legs nearly gave out as they hit the ground, connecting harshly with the forest floor. The fire was still coming quickly, tearing down the thick trees like toothpicks. Ymir began to run, moving as quickly as she could, desperately trying to outpace the flames.

 _What the hell kind of fire is this?_  She thought desperately, her breathing ragged as she dodged trees and bushes. She remembered Historia's words, from the very first time they met.

 _The games are unfair_.

That was when Ymir heard the screams. Just to her left, Connie and Sasha darted out of the trees, screaming at the top of their lungs. Behind them, an enourmous ball of flames hit a tree, causing it to topple, headed straight for Ymir.

"12! Move!" Connie screamed, sprinting ahead of her. Just in time, she dodged the tree, which set up a cloud of dust. Just as she thought she could run no more, the flames stopped, as if contained by glass. The cannon boomed four or five times in succession, and Ymir looked up, whipping her head back and forth. Connie and Sasha had collapsed against the trunks of two (intact) trees, struggling to catch their breath.

"Man, what the hell?" Connie gasped, clutching his chest.

"And all of our food, too," Sasha groaned miserably, sweat rolling down her face. Simultaneously, the pair whipped their heads up, eyeing Ymir.

"Relax," She huffed, too worn out to be afraid of the minor threat tributes. "I'm not going to kill you. I don't even have any weapons,"

"We don't either," Connie confessed, rubbing his shaved head. "Just a few poisoned berries that we can slip into the career's food,"

"Hey!" Sasha elbowed him. "There goes our surprise factor!"

"Ah, sorry," He murumured. "Hey, 12, why not set up camp with us?"

"I have an alliance already," Ymir stiffened, turning her head.

"Oh, yeah! Historia, the cutie from District 1. Wasn't she with the career pack? Connie, didn't we see them?"

"Think so," The shorter boy frowned. "12, are you with them?"

"Of course not!" Ymir winced, looking away. "It's just Historia and I,"

"Fair enough," Sasha shrugged, tossing her long, brown ponytail over her shoulder. "Just let us know if you change your mind," She and Connie stood, brushing themselves off.

"I'm gonna set us some traps at our new camp," Connie bragged. "I'm gonna catch us the best rabbit you've ever seen,"

"Sure you will,"

"I will! You just watch, Braus-" The pair's voices faded out as they walked further into the woods, and Ymir sat back into the mud, exhausted.

 _Wait. Mud?_   Ymir leapt to her feet, and, for the first time, noticed a trail of mud behind her, as if something had been dragged out of water.

Water. It has to be around her somewhere. Just then, the cannon boomed, and Ymir froze in her tracks. A loud scream, sounding eerily similar to Sasha's voice, echoed into the air.

The scream died out, but was replaced by another one. Ymir was on her feet within seconds, running towards the sound.

In a small clearing, Sasha was on her knees, screaming. Before she looked up, she took in the small details- the two sleeping bags, belonging to Connie and Sasha, were spread out neatly. A small cannister of berries was lying on its side, dark red spheres pouring out.

And in the center, Connie was sprawled on the ground, both of his arms ripped off. The arms themselves were hanging by ropes, looped through trees- a trap, probably set by the careers to tear the weaker tributes apart.

Sasha hadn't stopped screaming, even as Connie's blood pooled around her knees, soaking her leggings through with rich, black stains.

"12!" She whipped around, her eyes wide and desperate. "Get some water, if we just wash them out, I'm sure he'll be fine- what are you doing, go!" She screeched, pulling at Connie's shirt.

Ymir whipped around, running as fast as she could. _Water, water- damn it, if I had found some earlier, I wouln't be so lost-_

As she looped through the forest, she was dimly aware of the whipping of branches against her face, but she couldn't tell how hard they were hitting her- were they drawing blood? Were they leaving scrapes?

Finally, she came to a stream, and she fell to her knees, swearing.

_How long have I been gone? Sasha needs me-_

The boom of the canon cut off her thoughts as she twisted the lid off the canteen.

_Damn it, damn it, damn it-_

She filled the metal cylinder with water, screwing the top on messily. Sprinting back as fast as she could, she felt her heart racing.

_Sasha, where are you?_

Ymir's breath in her chest as she came into the small clearing, the canteen falling out of her hand. Sasha was on the ground, her face smeared with red. As Ymir crouched next to her, she realized it wasn't blood- it was juice. In her still-warm palm, Sasha was gripping the remaining poisonous berries.

"Sasha, you idiot," Ymir breathed, clenching her hands into fists. Her eyes were dim, glassy- how long had she been dead? Minutes? Seconds?

 _I have to get out of here,_ she realized blindly, standing up. _I'm sure the careers have heard the screams by now._

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Eren demanded, standing up. Armin shrugged helplessly, lifting his spear to his chest.

"Sounded like a girl," Mikasa noted coolly, looking at Historia. "I'd say either Sasha or Ymir,"

Historia shrugged, returning the look.

"Either works- it'll be easier if they were both taken out by the same person,"

"I like the way you think, Reiss!" Eren laughed, slinging his arm over her shoulder fondly. "C'mon, let's go see who's dead," Just then, the cannon boomed again, making Armin jump.

"Another one?"

"No scream that time," Mikasa lifted her crossbow shaking her hair over her shoulders. "Whoever's doing this is quite the force,"

"Not as strong as us!" Eren protested, grabbing a long knife off of a nearby stump.

"Calm down Eren," Armin begged, lowering his arm.

Historia's heart was pounding, threatening to choke her.

_There are what, eight of us left? And the odds that Ymir is one of them- I never should have let her go. This is my fault._

"C'mon, Historia," Eren spoke, lifting his blade again. "Let's go see if we can catch the killers,"

 _Is that all this is to him?_   She mused. _A game?_

* * *

"So the traps we set worked," Reiner noted, picking at his thumbnail.

"Do they look like a threat, Annie?" Bert asked, shifting in the shadows.

"I don't think so," She mused, watching Eren lead his allies towards the scene of Connie and Sasha's deaths. "That Eren kid, he's got a hot head on his shoulders. And as for his friends," Annie shrugged, rolling her eyes. "Mikasa could be considered a threat- if it comes to it," She grinned, looking Reiner in the eye.

"I'll take her out myself,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I hope you liked it!!!! Thank you to everyone who left comments- if I haven't responded to yours yet, I will soon. Much love x


	11. A Portrait in Grey Scale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to clear up any confusion, Sasha's death was a suicide- she knew beforehand that the berries were poisonous. Seeing her friend die in such a gruesome way led to her taking her own life out of shock and agony. Ymir calling her an idiot didn't reflect her accidentally eating the berries, rather reflecting the fact that her death was unnecessary.   
> To recap, this is the list of characters who, as of the end of chapter 10, are alive:  
> Ymir  
> Historia  
> Jean  
> Bert  
> Eren  
> Mikasa  
> Armin  
> Reiner   
> Annie  
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments so far- I hope you like it!!!!! Also please remember that it is rated explicit for a reason. Enjoy! x

The sun was setting when Ymir found the river. It had taken hours, but with her original camp gone and the career pack surely on her heels, she had decided to flee in hopes of finding water. Trailing the small creek, she had finally found the source, a lazy, cold river- shallow and gleaming with the artificial sunset. She sighed, sinking into the mud, feeling the cool water on her healing scabs. The forest around her was quiet, the buzzing of fake insects and the occasional hoot of an owl echoing in the hazy twilight.

Opening her canteen, she drank sloppily, feeling the ice cold water shoot through her, waking her up and clearing her head. Ymir closed her eyes, letting the relief that the water brought her take over her senses.

 _I'm going to make it,_ she thought to herself. _I can do this._

A splash sounded from upstream, and Ymir jerked her head up in time to see three figures coming towards her. Her heart freezing in terror, she realized that they had not yet noticed her presence, walking as smooth as shadows.

As they drew closer, Ymir stopped breathing.

Reiner, and the blonde girl, Annie, were in front- Bert lagged behind, easily the tallest.

"...Find Mikasa, and you can take on Eren. Bert, you take on Armin,"

"Are you sure that I can-"

"Of course I'm sure," Annie responded coolly, tossing her silvery blonde bangs to the side. Just then, Reiner looked up, noticing Ymir for the first time. Still shocked into immobility, she sat, gaping at him.

"Annie, on your-" Before he could finish his sentence, an arrow came whizzing past Ymir's head, just barely missing her. Terror gripped her, and she stood up and began to sprint, clawing through the foliage. She could hear loud splashing behind her, but she didn't dare to sneak a peek, her breath ragged.

Where the hell am I going? She thought desperately. I can't keep running forever.

In what was either the bravest or stupidest moment of Ymir's life, she stopped running and began to scale the nearest tree, ignoring the way the thick bark was shredding her already short nails.

"She's up there!" Reiner called, and another arrow zipped past her, closer than the last. Her heart crept into her throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut, continuing to climb until she hit a divide in the tree, where she hid, completely invulnerable. 

"Shit," Annie swore under her breath. "This is taking too damn long. Bert, climb up,"

_Not him, too. I can't lose another person._

"Okay," He spoke, and Ymir's heart dropped, her eyes falling shut.

Bert dug his knife into the tree, and began to lift himself- lasting a total of six seconds.

"What the hell, Bert?"

"I'm, ah," He blushed crimson, looking down. "I'm too heavy. I'm too large to be as nimble as Ymir,"

"What are we supposed to do, then?" Reiner demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"We could wait for her," Bert suggested. The shorter man scoffed, but he shook his head. "I mean it. She's gotta come down sometime,"

Annie and Reiner exchanged a look, but in the end, they shrugged, rolling their eyes.

"I suppose we'll have to," Grudgingly, they began to set up camp around the base of the tree, Bert offering to take first watch. They arranged their sleeping bags in a triangle, with the taller male watching their blind side. Annie and Reiner seemed to drift off the sleep immediately, despite resting on the cold, hard forest floor.

"Hey," A whisper floated up to Ymir's ears after some time. "Ymir, it's me,"

"What the hell do you want?" She called back.

"Shhhh," He winced, putting his hands up. "You'll wake them,"

"And why should I care?"

"Ymir, I'm on your side!"

"Oh, yeah? Then what are you doing with them?"

Bert sighed, looking down.

"I want to join you,"

"I'm already with Historia,"

"I saw how she betrayed you,"

Ymir's veins went cold, and she turned over, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Ymir, I'm sorry, but it's true!"

She ignored him, watching as the sky lit up, the national anthem blaring. The faces of the many tributes who had died in the fire graced the sky, along with Connie and Sasha. Ymir closed her eyes, begging for sleep.

 _Let me dream, for once,_ she begged, squeezing her eyes shut. _Give me a happy dream._ She had barely fallen asleep when a scream woke her.

She was bolt upright in moments, surveying the area below. The screaming noise had been Reiner, who now limped, a knife wedged into his thigh.

"Fucking hell," He muttered, ripping the knife out. "Just who do you think you are, Jaegar?" Ymir turned, noticing the trio for the first time. Mikasa, Armin, and Eren all stood, surrounding the camp below.

"Reiner. As we planned," Annie commanded. He nodded sharply, lunging at Eren, his axe in his hands within moments. Annie was on Mikasa in seconds, wrestling her to the ground. Bert had darted towards Armin, who, sensibly, was running away at top speed, his weapons untouched.

Mikasa lifted her knife to Annie's throat, desperately trying to gather enough force to cut, but she was losing, her strength lost as she was held down.

Reiner was winning as well, until Eren pulled out his knife, cutting a small slit onto Reiner's arm.

"What the hell?"

Eren grinned, blood covering his face.

"Poisoned tip. Should finish you up in a day or two," Reiner's face went pale, his eyes wide, but before the smaller boy could run, he brought his axe down, beheading him. The cannon rang, heavy and clear. Mikasa screamed, long and high pitched, before Annie pulled out a small knife from her boots, stabbing her through the heart.

Mikasa's eyes went wide, darting to look at where Eren's severed head was, in a pool of his blood.

Blood began to flow out of her mouth, choking her, and within seconds, her eyes had gone cold and glassy. The cannon went off again, and the clearing went quiet. Reiner collapsed next to Eren's body, wheezing.

"What the hell, man?" Annie demanded, shaking his shoulders. He grinned up at her, covering the wound on his arm. "Nothing. Just winded," The smaller girl rolled her eyes, buying it.

"Anyways, where'd Bert go?"

"He was chasing down Armin. Who knows where he is now?"

"You take first watch until he comes back, then," She muttered, collapsing into her sleeping bag.

"Can do," He smirked, stretching.

Ymir looked at the sky, her eyes surprisingly dry.

_So she really did betray me after all._

* * *

With the pale gray mist of dawn came an odd noise- snapping? Clicking? Opening her weary eyes, Ymir pushed her hair back, yawning silently. The world seemed to spin, and she nearly screamed when she realized the source of the sound. 

Armin, the blond boy from Annie's district, was hanging onto a tree branch, snapping his fingers at her.

Ymir grabbed her bag, clutching it to herself.

_Oh, god, he doesn't have any weapons, does he? Why didn't he just kill me in my sleep?_

Armin motioned behind her, to a large, drooping branch of the tree. On the end was a hive, filled with what Ymir instantly recognized to be tracker jackers. Her breath caught in her throat, her palms sweaty. She remembered learning about them on her first day in the Capitol- dangerous wasp hybrids with a deadly sting. One or two wouldn't kill you, but they could cause horrific hallucinations. More than five or six often resulted in death.

Ymir whipped her head back to Armin, frowning. He lifted his arms, pointing to the hive, before miming a sawing motion and pointing to the forest floor. In that moment, realization hit her, and she nodded at the blond boy. The hive was positioned directly over Annie's sleeping form.

Armin leaned out on a limb, holding a knife out, handle first. Ymir grabbed it, and, as quietly as possible, began sawing the branch. The hive fluttered angrily, and Reiner rolled in his sleep, his face a horrible grey color. As she continued to work her arm, the first tracker jacker stung her, making her cry out softly. Another one followed suit, and soon, she had two stings on her hands and one on her neck.

 _I have to do this_ , she thought to herself, her mind going fuzzy. Finally, the branch snapped, sending the hive downwards. Annie screamed as the hive connected with her torso, shattering on impact. Instantly, the mutant wasps were all over her- her face, her hands, in her mouth, under her hair. She was up instantly, running, Reiner behind her.

Ymir's head began to spin, but in a seemingly pleasant way. Before she knew it, she was falling out of the tree, her limp body hitting the forest floor hard. She didn't feel the pain, and as the stumbled to her feet, the colors of the forest started to blend together.

At her feet was a corpse, the skin so twisted and marred by stings she could barely recognize the girl inside the hoodie.

"Ymir!" A soft, familiar voice cried, reaching for her shoulders. "Ymir, you have to go! Run!" Turning, a small, pale face came into view, although, with the colors twisting like they were, she couldn't recognize the girl.

"Ymir, what are you doing?" She screamed, and her face became more clear- blue eyes, blonde hair, tinier than Annie. Tears began to roll down her face as she shook Ymir. "Ymir, you have to go, they'll kill you- Ymir, I love you, you have to go!" She shrieked, her voice hoarse.

"Love you too," She grinned, closing her eyes. "You too,"

Historia's face, warped and twisted, was the last thing she saw before she collapsed, her vision going black.

 


	12. A Perfect Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I have no idea exactly how long this fic is going to be, but I'm going to be wrapping it up soon- really loosely estimated, I'm maybe 3/4 through by now. I'd estimate 4 more chapters at most. This chapter features Armin the #1 Yumikuri shipper. You do you, Armin. Thank you to everyone who has left comments/kudos- it means a lot!

Ymir's head felt like it was made of rubber, her limbs of glass. It took her several minutes to blink open her eyes, her heart pounding. She was nestled in a sleeping bag- not hers- next to two others. The bags were empty, as was the small clearing she was resting in. She sat up abruptly, wincing as her head began to ache. A twig behind her snapped, and she whirled around, gasping. There was no one in sight, but she saw a small foot dodge behind a tree.

She paused, confused.

"Armin?" She called out, her voice weak and raw. "Armin, hey, is that you?" The foot shifted a little, unsure.

"Armin, I'm not gonna hurt you," She sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I don't even have any weapons,"

Slowly, the blond boy emerged from behind the tree, biting his lip.

"I didn't mean to startle you," He spoke, looking down. "I really didn't. Because I took out revenge on Annie and Reiner, I hurt you and Historia,"

"Historia?" Ymir demanded, sitting up. "Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's out gathering firewood right now," He murmured, his expression puzzled. "Is it true? What they say about you are her?"

"What are they saying?"

"Oh, ah," Armin blushed, pink staining his pale cheeks. "Nothing, sorry,"

"So she's okay?"

"Yes, just a few stings, like you. I put the leaves on your hands, by the way. Changed 'em twice," Ymir sighed in relief before looking down at her arms. As he said, they were covered in large, wet green leaves, and the stings on the backs of her hands had gone down drastically.

"Thank you," She said, studying the smaller boy. "Really. Thank you, Armin,"

He blushed again, lifting his hand to scratch behind his ear.

"It was nothing,"

"It wasn't nothing," She murmured, bringing her knees to her chest. "You saved us. You saved her,"

"Hey, Armin," Historia called, looking down at the wood in her arms. "I think I brought enough, but can you-" She looked up, stopping in her tracks as the wood fell from her arms, landing with hollow thuds on the forest floor.

Within seconds, she had tackled Ymir, grabbing her by her collar.

"You idiot!" She sobbed, knocking their foreheads together.

"I'm, ah," Armin lifted his hands, backing away. "I'm gonna give you two some privacy," No one paid any attention to the blonde boy as he backed out of the clearing, blushing.

"You idiot," Historia sobbed again, burying her face into Ymir's shoulder. "You should've just-" She hiccuped miserably, clinging to her jacket miserably. "I had to make an alliance because I couldn't find you and I was too vulnerable without any food or- _hic_ \- weapons- I was so scared you'd hate me, you idiot, we could've-"

"Hey," She whispered soothingly, rubbing small circles on the smaller girl's back. "Hey it's okay, it's just us now, we're safe,"

"For how- _hic_ \- long? Will you stay?"

Ymir looked into her eyes, her face somber.

"I'll stay for as long as you need," Historia lifted her head, studying her. Her hair was wild, knotted in every each way, and her eyes were red and puffy. Somehow, Ymir noticed, she still looked beautiful.

"Hey," She whispered, her voice still sweet and delicate. "Do you remember anything? From when you were stung?"

Ymir frowned, cocking her head.

"Like what?"

Historia's shoulders slumped, and she sighed, moving to get off of her lap.

"Hey, look at me,"

"What?"

"Did I do something?"

Historia winced, looking down.

"You said something,"

"Was it mean?" Ymir frowned, looking down. "Because if it was, I'm sor-"

"It wasn't mean," Historia looked away, wiping her eyes. "It doesn't matter-"

"It does. Isn't there anything you can do to remind me?" Historia raised her eyebrow, blushing. 

"There's one thing, I guess," Her cheeks were stained pink, and Ymir lifted her hand to her delicate skin, stroking her cheekbone.

"I want to remember," She whispered. "Help me remember,"

"Okay," Historia breathed, leaning forward slowly. Ymir felt her eyes slowly falling shut, the smaller girl's hands making their way up to tangle themselves in her hair.

"I love you," She murmured before pressing their lips together.

Several kilometers away, Armin sat on a rock by the stream bed, smiling to himself.

"I was right," He murmured.

* * *

"Are you sure it's safe to build a fire?" Ymir asked, biting her thumbnail. "After what happened to Mina...." Both Historia and Armin winced, looking away. 

"I'm sure," Armin spoke, pulling his sleeping bag next to the fire. "Only Bert and Reiner are left, anyways, and I sincerely doubt they'd attack, outnumbered and disadvantaged as they are. Besides, they're probably ready to take a break and rest. We need to discuss our strategy tonight- I have an idea for a trap. Sit down, you two,"

Historia and Ymir sat on their sleeping bag, leaning forward.

"So currently, Reiner and Bert have camp set up in the cornucopia- Mikasa, Eren, and I dug up and reburied the mines outside of the pedestals- what I'm trying to say is, they have large stores of food and weapons all surrounded by explosives," He took a deep breath, pushing his hair back. "I think we should blow it all up,"

Historia's eyes widened, and she shivered, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

"Here," Ymir murmured, draping her jacket over her shoulders. Historia nestled in, smiling at her gratefully.

"Ahem," Armin cleared his throat. "So are we good?"

"Yes," Historia answered. "What's our plan of action?"

"Ymir, you're good with archery, right?" Ymir nodded her assent, narrowing her eyes. "You think you could work a crossbow?"

"I could probably figure it out," She shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's a simple concept,"

Armin nodded, turning to Historia.

"The two of us will keep an eye on Reiner and Bert. One of them will probably be on guard, and the other will probably be out, hunting or searching for us. Historia will keep an eye on Reiner, I'll keep an eye on Bert. We'll light a series of fires, running as fast as we can. The smoke will draw either Reiner or Bert. The other guard will either be killed in the explosion, or they'll escape- keep in mind they'll be more vulnerable then. Sound like a plan?"

"I have a question," Historia lifted her hand, frowning. "What if something goes wrong? Isn't there some way we can signal each other?" 

Armin thought for a minute, biting his lip.

"Well, in District 11, there was this tune we used to whistle. If someone was in danger, we would whistle it, and the mockingjays would pick it up, and it would echo through the forest. To Reiner and Bert, it would sound like nothing- a bird call. But to us, we would know,"

"What's the call?" Historia asked, shivering. Ymir wrapped her arm around her, bringing her to her chest.

Armin lifted his fingers and whistled- the tune was a low four-tone- eerie, but memorable.

"We good?" Armin asked, his eyebrows raised.

Historia nodded, and after a moment, Ymir copied her, looking down.

"Okay," He breathed, standing up. "Both of you, go to bed- you need rest. I'll take first watch,"

Historia stood, stretching her small arms.

"Thanks for letting me borrow your jacket," She blushed, looking away. "I get really cold sometimes,"

"You wanna sleep with me?" Ymir asked, lowering her voice. "There's room in my sleeping bag,"

"If- if that's okay with you," She stammered.

"Of course it's okay," She smiled, taking her hand. "As long as you need me, remember?"

Historia's lips twitched, and she nodded.

"I remember,"

As the embers of the fire died out, Ymir looked at Historia, wrapping her arms around the sleeping girl.

_I can't let her go. Not again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I figured that I owed you guys a fluffy chapter after all I've put you through. Hope you liked it!!! Much love x


	13. And I Can't Even Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry for taking so long with this one, I've been super busy. Hope you enjoy it!!!

The sky was lavender and peach when Armin shook Ymir awake, whispering in her ear.

"Hey, Ymir," He murmured, gripping her shoulder. "Ymir, c'mon,"

Groaning, she opened her eyes, glaring at him.

"What is it?"

"We, ah," He winced, looking away from the intensity of her stare. "Our plan- it, ah, this would be the best time to-"

"Yeah, yeah," She sighed, shutting her eyes. "Gimme a minute,"

"Okay!" Armin squeaked, standing up and nearly tripping over his feet.

"Historia, hey," Ymir murmured in the smaller girl's ear, rubbing slow circles on her arm.

"Mmmph,"

"Yeah, me too," Ymir laughed, sitting up. "Time to wake up, golden girl. Our plan sets into motion today,"

Historia nodded, sitting up. Rubbing her eyes, she smiled, sighing.

"Are you ready?"

"Definitely. You?"

She took a deep breath, standing up. Her light blonde hair cascaded in loose ringlets down her back, looking silky even though they hadn't been brushed. 

"For sure,"

* * *

The trek through the forest was long, but Ymir wasn't nervous anymore. Reviewing the plan in her head, she let her lips fall into a small smile.

_Find the camp at the cornucopia. Wait until Bert and Reiner have been drawn away. Trigger the land mines._

"Hey, what the hell is that?" A deep voice echoed through the forest from up ahead.

"Smoke," Bert replied as Ymir ducked into the foliage. "And a lot of it, too- I'll go check it out. You stay here," 

"Be careful," Reiner replied, his voice sounding somewhat exhausted. 

"Yeah, I will," 

Bert ran right past Ymir's hiding spot, not noticing a thing as he lifted a heavy knife over his shoulder. Crawling out of the bushes, she peeked around at the cornucopia. In the dead center was a pile of food, surrounded by small piles of dirt- _the reburied land mines Armin was telling me about, I'm sure of it_. Reiner sat on the ground, his face pale gray, facing away from Ymir. Frowning, she noticed that he seemed to be breathing heavily, a bandage spread out over his right arm.

 _C'mon, Armin, you can do it_ , she bit her lip, staring at Reiner.

"What the hell?" He murmured, standing on shaky legs. The second plume of smoke had erupted in the sky, unfurling towards the clouds.

"Shit," He murmured, grabbing his spear. Hobbling off into the woods, Ymir finally stood, grinning triumphantly.

_It's all downhill from here._

Stalking out of the underbrush, she grimaced, gripping the crossbow to her chest.

_I've only got three shots. I can't fail Armin and Historia, not after everything they've done for me._

Lifting her eyes, she noticed a bag of apples, dangling precariously from the top of the stack. With a single shot, they could tumble down, and cause an explosion. Taking a deep breath, Ymir brought the bow to eye level, drawing back.

 _Whiz_. The arrow had gone through the bag, but had only caused a rip, not enough to bring the apples down.

 _Damn_ , her heart fluttered, hands shaking as she brought the bow back up. _Two more shots, Ymir. You can do it._

The arrow swished through the air, piercing the canvas of the bag. In slow motion, a small, bright green apple fell from the bag, slowly rolling down the pile. Thud. Thud. Thud. And then, before Ymir could cover her ears, the cornucopia was engulfed in flames. Her vision went black, and she curled up into a ball, her ears ringing.

 _We did it_ , she thought numbly, lifting her hand to her face. Blood trickled down from her ear, thick and black. _We did it_. 

Where are Armin and Historia? She thought weakly to herself, standing on shaking legs. The pile of food was nothing but a pile of black ash, fragments of canvas raining down from the sky. I have to get out of here, she realized, her heart hammering, before they come back.

"Ymir!" A high, clear voice screamed. "Help!"

Within seconds, she was on her feet, scrambling through the forest.

Oh, God, was that Armin or Historia? And why isn't our signal sounding?

"Ymir!" The voice cried again, desperate and agonized. Picking up her pace, droplets of sweat began to roll down her face, low hanging tree branches whipping her cheeks and neck. The voice was getting closer, more and more clear, until at last, Armin's body came into view. He was caught in a trap, his arms and legs roped together in a net.

"Oh, thank god," Ymir breathed, running over to help him. As she dropped to her knees, pulling out her knife, Armin's blue eyes swelled, and he grabbed her arm. 

"Ymir, wait, behind y-" 

Ymir whirled around, making eye contact with Reiner. In what seemed like slow motion, she lifted the crossbow and fired her last shot. The arrow swished through the air, piercing his thigh. Screaming in agony, he ran as fast as he could, black blood seeping from his leg and his bandaged arm.

"That was a close one, huh, Armin?" Ymir breathed, wiping her brow.

"Y-Ymir," Armin murmured, his voice uncharacteristically high.

"Yeah, what's-" Her breath caught as she turned, her eyes widening. Buried in Armin's chest was Reiner's spear, protruding from right between his ribs. He looked down, almost calmly, and pulled the spear out, the golden tip glistening in the sunlight. Blood began to pour from his mouth, dribbling down his chin.

"Hey, hey Armin, hey," Ymir's voice cracked.

Armin's eyelids began to flutter, and within moment, he was falling backwards. Ymir darted forwards, catching him in her arms.

"Armin, hey, this is nothing, okay? We'll have you patched up in no time, alright? Hey, look at me,"

"Did you destroy all the food?" He murmured, his wide blue eyes glassy.

"Yeah," Ymir choked, her breath uneven.

"That's good," He smiled. "That's really good. You have a chance now,"

"Huh?"

"Ymir, you have to win," He coughed, blood splattering over his windbreaker. "Not just for me. For everybody back home. And you have to find Historia, too. Promise me- promise me you'll try,"

"Of- of course,"

"That's good," Armin breathed. "Hey, Ymir?"

"What is it?" She began to feel tears rolling down her cheeks, hot on her cold skin. 

"What do you think the ocean looks like?"

"What?"

"The ocean. Not just lakes- the real ocean. Eren and Mikasa and I used to dream about going together, but I guess," He paused, laughing bitterly. "I guess that isn't gonna happen, huh?"

"Armin, you're not-"

"Just- just tell me. What do you think it looks like?"

"Well," Ymir took a deep breath, shutting her eyes. "I think- I think it would be big and blue, like a lake, but a lot bigger. And under the water, everything is okay. There's a kingdom down there, don't you think? And the king treats everyone alright, and they're all happy to serve him, and there are a million colorful fish, and they just swim around, and everyone's happy, and no one ever dies," She choked, wiping her face on the back of her sleeve. "And no one ever cries, either, because you can't cry underwater. And everyone just-" She broke off, trying to stifle the sounds of her tears.

"Hey, Ymir," Armin smiled up at her, blood staining his teeth. "I really liked that," And then his eyes went out of focus, and the cannon rang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was pretty short, but the next 3 chapters are all going to be pretty dense. I hope you liked it!!! x


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